I Would For You
by GleeGeneration23
Summary: Paul/Rachel Fanfiction: When Rachel Black left La Push nearly four years ago to go to college she was carrying a secret. When she returns to help pick up the pieces in the aftermath of her brother's disappearance she has no idea of what fate has in store for her and the effect it has on her life. Mature Themes, Please Read and Review.
1. I Would For Me

**Hello, this is a first for me in this fandom. I do love Twilight and I love the Wolf Pack and one of the first stories I ever read was a Paul/Rachel Fanfic. I had a rough draft (from when I was like thirteen) back in the day and I dusted it off and republished, and I hope you all enjoy.**

 **So here is the first chapter, I approximately hope this will be twenty chapters, this story is AU so the meetings and the ages are a little different. I think that Paul must have graduated by at least Eclipse if not before New Moon so I would like to reiterate that Rachel and Paul's one night stand was consensual and legal. I am writing this with the belief that they were both seniors. I know that does kinda effect the Jared/Kim relationship but I am writing him a year younger than Paul. So yeah some distortion of cannon. However all major events in Breaking Dawn will remain the same.**

 **I hope you all enjoy this story and will review and let me know what you think, any questions then please ask in a review or send in a PM and I will be more than happy to give you any answers.**

 **Disclaimer-Nothing is mine. The only character that does belong to me is Shay.**

 **Please Read and Review.**

 **And I will update as soon as I can.**

 **(PS) grammar and punctuation are not my strong point so fair warning...**

 **Also I am rating this story as M as upcoming chapters will have M rated content.**

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I Would For You

Paul/Rachel Fanfiction. When Rachel Black left La Push nearly four years ago to go to college she was carrying a secret. When she returns to help pick up the pieces in the aftermath of her brother's disappearance she has no idea of what fate has in store for her and the effect it has on her life.

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Chapter 1-I Would For Me

Rachel's Point of View

 _I breathed carefully through my nose as my surroundings came back to me. I was in a car that much I knew and judging by the wetness near my hairline I was bleeding. I was supposedly spending my summer with Rebecca and her husband in Hawaii before I went back to Washington for the first year of my scholarship and I didn't understand for a second why my body seemed to be distended, why something was pressing against the wheel._

 _And then it came crashing back to me. The real reason I had left La Push in the first place, brown eyes, warm hands on my skin, and the crushing disappointment when I realised there would always be someone better. Because Rebecca was always the pretty twin. Who would ever want me?_

 _But that wasn't important right now, what was important was the fact that there was blood dripping from my head, someone was shouting my name and I couldn't feel my baby now at seven months kick like she usually did. Blood dripped from my mouth and all I could remember was a blind sighted panic that seemed to seep through me before I blissfully blacked out to the screaming surrounding me and to a pair of dark brown eyes that nearly seven months ago I had looked into._

Someone was shaking me awake. It took me a second to realise that it was the kind lady next to me. "I think we're going to be landing soon" she whispered next to me and I nodded managing a small thanks and a smile. "Nightmare?" she asked and I nodded deciding to go with that story. In truth I wasn't sure what to classify that dream anymore. It was the one that haunted me at least twice a week and the decision to come home had only intensified the feelings of fear that I was suffering.

God I hated the idea of coming back to La Push, after the accident I had managed to deflect Rebecca long enough for her not to call my Dad and I'd managed to defer my transfer to Hawaii's best college for much the same scholarship. God knows anyone who had seen me at the time wouldn't have minded so much upon seeing the state I was in. I was fortunate enough that Rebecca had only been out of town for the two days I had been under and therefore hadn't had the time to do anything before I was awake and ordering her to listen to me.

For the last four years I had completed my degree while living in Hawaii with my daughter. My angel, Shay Sienna Black. Being a single mom in this climate with no father and college loans and bills to pay meant that money was tighter than ever (and I had been raised with two sibling's and for most of my High School years had I had been raised on a single disabled parent's salary) I shook my head. I had left Shay with my sister, whatever my idiot brother was doing that demanded my presence at home I knew that I didn't want her near it.

I also didn't need her around the other shadier characters of my past. The mistakes I had committed before I had left La Push and people I had left and who had left me. There were certain aspects of the past that I didn't need around my innocent little four year old who still believed in magic and needed me to check under the bed that there were no monsters.

There was a lot that Shay didn't need to know about her mother…at least not yet.

I got off the plane steadfastly ignoring my hands shaking. What with Jacob gone I wasn't sure if my Dad would brave the traffic and come out to see me or if he had one of Jacob's friends do it. My Carry-On item had been a bag containing a laptop and an umbrella and I had only one suitcase. I didn't plan on staying longer than a month at best. And even then a month was far too long. I knew deep down that while I had promised my Dad a month I would be home within two weeks. Realistically three if Jacob still hadn't shown up.

It was Embry Call who was waiting for me. He had been like Jacob's third limb, he and Quill, Jacob's other best friend. He had changed however, gone was the baby fat that had made him so cute and easily likeable as a child and in it's place was hard muscle. His hair was sticking up in places and he had the look of a child who had grown up very quickly and it hadn't been his choice. His face lit up when he saw me and I was slightly amused to see that his eyes ran over me before they snapped back onto my face. I knew that motherhood had made me curvier than I was before but it wasn't the extra weight that I was worried about.

"Rachel" he cried sweeping me up into a hug so tight that I nearly screamed in shock. He spun me around and dropped me back on the floor. Jesus he was burning hotter than the sun in Hawaii in August "Are you feeling alright?" I asked him sceptically as way of a greeting "You're burning up"

Embry grinned looking sheepish, "Yeah" he confessed "Kinda a strange growth spurt, don't worry about…nobody else is" I took the nobody else bit to mean his mother and my father who had been a surrogate father to Embry with pride despite the painful rumours that he was more than a surrogate. I knew about that story and I didn't dwell on it. Such rumours and the people that held them I viewed in open contempt.

I nodded allowing him to pull my bag along. "So why's he disappeared?" I asked. There was no need for Embry to pretend, we both knew exactly what I was talking about. The version I got from my Dad was that it had something to do with Bella Swan the shy girl I remembered faintly from childhood.

"Bella Swan…" at my nod of recognition he continued. "She's getting married and I don't think Jake took it so well…" he trailed off as if trying to find the words to form what had happened in my absence. "Isn't she younger than me?" I asked raising an eyebrow. "Yeah" Embry said grinning "She's eighteen, and he's just graduated too…his names is Edward Cullen and she's madly in love with him, I don't know how Jake ever got his hopes up that she would leave him" he shook his head.

I rolled my eyes I didn't hold to much stock in the beliefs that my Dad held about the Cullen's. Besides I didn't want to judge, God knows that I had had a child when I was that age and didn't marry the father.

"So did he tell you when he was coming back?" I asked trying to keep the irritation out of my voice. Embry threw my bag in the trunk and opened the door. "No" he said cheerfully "But she did invite him to the wedding so I'll imagine he'll rock up for that" he opened the door for me and I slid in trying and failing to pretend that my hands were not shaking. If Embry noticed he was gentleman enough not to mention it.

"I'll drop you off at your Dad's and then I'll leave you to get settled. I think there's gonna be a bonfire in a couple of days so that should be fun" he was filling in for my lack of conversation and God Bless him I loved him for it. I bit my bottom lip managing a smile. "Thanks" I said when the little house came into view. It was exactly like I remembered it, the same slanted roof and the yard and my Dad in his chair watching me. Suddenly I felt self-conscious. I had left home three months pregnant (admittedly unknowingly) and I had returned with a four year old (that admittedly he didn't know about) one of the easiest ways to keep my Dad out of the loop about my pregnancy and spare his judgement was to stop myself from coming home.

In all fairness I never said the plan was a good one.

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My Dad had aged since I had seen him last. The worry that Jacob's disappearance had obvious cost him was clear on his face as well as the relief that swept over it upon seeing me. It had been a long time and I could tell he was checking me over to see if there was anything different about the way I look. "Rachel" he said warmly grinning as I bent down and allowed him to hug me. "God I have missed you, you look so grown up"

God my Dad had no idea. "Thanks" I said beaming. "How's your sister?" he asked as I grabbed my bags and waved goodbye to Embry. I turned to stare my heart almost stopping. My Dad shot me a look "She told me you spent the summer up there" he nodded at my look at relief. "Yeah she's doing…" it was hard to find the words that described what my sister was doing "Fine" I said finally "She enjoys working at the gallery" that much was true, Rebecca was working at a gallery in Hawaii and seemed to enjoy it every second.

My Dad nodded as I entered the house. "And you?" he asked raising an eyebrow. I dithered. It was right there, to tell him about Shay but there was something stopping me. Maybe it was the fear that he would press me about what really happened four years ago. Answers to the questions I still wasn't sure I was ready to answer. Not without preparing myself…not until I knew about… _him._

"Good" I said finally forcing a smile "Glad to have graduated" my Dad nodded looking thrilled, "I meant to go up and see you but what with everything going on the past year…" he trailed off looking embarrassed and I nodded letting the conversation die.

"Where is he?" I asked finally cutting through the crap. My Dad blinked having the nerve to looking surprised by my questions. He wheeled to the kitchen and began to make himself a cup of tea. "I don't know" he said finally.

"And all of this is over Bella Swan?" I asked sceptically. My Dad sighed again, "I don't know" he said finally. I stared at him incredulously. "Why" I said carefully "Do you not seem more upset about what the hell is going on with Jake?" I asked every word deliberate and slow.

My Dad smiled that small smile at me before dipping his head down so that I couldn't see his face. "Your brother will come home when he wants to" he said finally "It's not my place to tell you what's going on in his head" he smiled again cutting of my furious reply. "I'm just glad your back, I've missed my girls" his tone was so warm and soothing that I couldn't help but smile. It was brittle, I didn't want to forget anytime soon about the subject of Jake but this was also the first time I had seen my Dad in nearly four years.

So yeah, I let it go.

* * *

Once I had unpacked, showered and changed into my comfy pair of 'Mommy Jeans' and an old t-shirt that had more holes in it than cloth I set about making dinner my feet bare on the carpet. My Dad had steak and I set about frying it along with some chips I found in the freezer. Yeah…I would have to go shopping.

My Dad hung up the phone just as I was plating up. "Sam Uley and a couple of people are stopping by" he mentioned as we ate "They won't be staying long, they just want to make sure you haven't poisoned me" he said that with a wink and a smiled unable to stop myself. "I heard he and Leah broke up" I mentioned casually. My Dad nodded looking down for a second.

"He's happy now with Emily" he said carefully "And I think one day Leah will find her Happy Ending as well"

I carefully hid my derision. Leah Clearwater had been more Rebecca's friend rather than mine but she didn't seem like the type that would simply wait around for a man to give her happiness. And I did remember Sam mostly as the quiet kid a year older than me with the no-show Dad. God it really had been a long time hadn't it?

I was just washing up when the door opened. "Billy" came a deep voice and a man completely unrecognisable to the Sam Uley I had once known stepped in. he had shorter hair and more muscle and seemed to emit an aura of leadership. The boy next to him also half naked I recognised as Jared Cameron. I swallowed harshly.

"He's next door" I said hiding my shaking hands beneath a dishcloth. Sam nodded flashing me a smile. We hadn't known each other all that well for there to be anything else. Jared beamed showing of his infamous dimples before following.

The door opened again and I turned around glass in hand to see who it was.

The glass shattered on the floor in pieces but I didn't care. Because in the split second all I could see was brown cropped hair and warm skin and hands that I remembered intimately, achingly well. All I could see was dark chocolate brown eyes my favourite shade in the world because for the last four years they had been the eyes of my daughter. Of Shay.

Standing in front of me looking like he had been hit over the head with something heavy, his eyes filled with something that looked like an aching sense of devotion and adoration was Paul Lahote.

The man I had fallen in love with four years ago despite all the reasons not to.

The man I had given everything to four years ago despite all the reasons not to.

The man who I still loved four years later despite all the reasons not to.

The man who had gotten me pregnant four years ago.

Shay's father.

Oh shit.

He was still staring at me with that look on his face that had made me fall in love with him all those years ago, like I was special, like I was meaningful, like I was worth something. I could feel my heart being beating in control again and my hands stopped shaking. It was like my whole body was calming down for the first time since the accident. I knew with painstaking foresight what that meant.

And I knew intimately I would never let myself go through that again.

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 **So please let me know what you think and if this any good.**


	2. I Could Never Love Like That

**Hi so here is another chapter, I apologise for the wait but I was busy with essays after essays and therefore couldn't update however I have another chapter...**

 **As I mentioned i am writing this story as if Rachel, Paul, Jared graduated at the same time. Kim is about a year younger but she was in an advanced class and that's where she met Jared. It's a slight bending of the cannon but this whole story is mostly AU so...**

 **Grammar and Punctuation are not my best shot so therefore there might be some mistakes.**

 **Disclaimer-Nothing is mine**

 **Please Read and Review and a big thank you to all of you who have read so far.**

 **I will hopefully update as soon as i can.**

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I Would For You

Paul/Rachel Fanfiction. When Rachel Black left La Push nearly four years ago to go to college she was carrying a secret. When she returns to help pick up the pieces in the aftermath of her brother's disappearance she has no idea of what fate has in store for her and the effect it has on her life.

Chapter 2-I Could Never Love Like That.

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Paul's Point of View

I had never seen the point of imprinting. Soulmates were an uncommon concept for me to wrap my head around. Ironic really, when I was as uncommon as you could get both wolf and human. There had never been any appeal for me, to find my 'chosen one' so to speak. Any hope for that was well and truly at the bottom of the pile of shit I had to worry about.

And yet…there had been someone once…someone…a girl…I had loved or believed myself to have loved. Like all things in my life it to had fallen to shit. There was nothing left for me to do but wallow in the sins of my past.

Now you may ask yourself why the hell I am being this harsh on myself. Good question. You see, I know what the pack see me as, they see me as a liability (which considering Jacob Black is part of the pack now I find hard to believe) I am the one that they think will lose his temper and end up killing someone. Funnily enough, I don't try to be like that. I do try to keep my temper under control despite all the odds and I think I've done a rather good job of it so far. Hell this week alone I haven't snapped at anyone (Leah included) so…

Anyhow I was following Sam up the stairs to Billy's place when it happened. Jacob was still on his little disappearing joint and Bella's wedding was just around the corner and Billy…well…we all worry sometimes. Especially after Harry Clearwater.

There was already someone in the house, whoever it was, was a woman. I only passed her a glance just in time to see dark curls falling down her back. She was in jeans and a worn jumper and her feet were bare against the wooden floorboards.

"Hey Billy" Sam said warmly clasping the old man's hand. He jerked his head in the kitchen obviously asking the silent question. Billy smiled "Rachel" he said warmly.

Rachel….Rachel…Rachel Black. _Oh shit._

You see I know Rachel Black. Intimately.

That woman that I loved once? Yeah Rachel Black.

She had been the same age as me, smart, funny, pretty, she had kept herself to herself but her last name had managed to make her a loveable nerd. She had been the one girl back in High School that I had wanted more than anything else in the world and for one night nearly four years ago I had had her.

She still didn't look at me and for once I felt grateful. Our last meeting hadn't been my finest moment. That was an understatement.

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 _It had been the night of the Prom only a few more days until Graduation. We'd been drinking, me, Jared, the rest of the boys. We had all ended up on First Beach. The aftermath of the party was filled with teenagers drinking, kicking off their shoes and running wild unable to comprehend that soon enough their high school lives were over._

 _Rachel Black was also there. She was still wearing her black prom dress. It was a simply sleeveless v neck that showed more cleavage than I think Billy knew about but she looked stunning. Her hair was in loose curls around her shoulders and she was staring out to the water a bottle of champagne held loosely between her hands._

 _"_ _Hey" I said walking over to her trying to act cool. You see I had a thing for Rachel Black. She had been a nerd that had spent a lot of time in the library with her head burred in a book (so much so she had ended up gaining a scholarship to Washington State) but she still had a surname that commanded her a certain amount of respect in La Push. And even if I didn't like her simply because she was attractive, Rachel Black was actually a pretty sweet girl. She was polite and always nice and always smiled with her dimples on show. Rachel Black had been a guilty pleasure for me and I was more than happy (after liking her since I was thirteen) to try and get with her even if it was for once night._

 _"_ _Hey" I said slipping into a stride next to her. I too was in my Prom tux and I to was barefoot my toes slipping on the sand. "Hey yourself" she said grinning. "Good night wasn't it?"_

 _I nodded grinning. "All the better to see you with my dear" I said taking a swig of the champagne and turning around so I was walking backwards. She grinned her whole face lighting up. "You are funny you know" she said shaking her head. I grinned. Rachel Black thought I was funny._

 _She passed the champagne back to me taking a long gulp. She staggered falling against me and I reached out to grab her letting her fall against me. She giggled though weather it was down to the champagne, the fact that we were inches away from finishing High School or the fact that we were inches away from each other._

 _"_ _You got an empty house tonight?" she said watching me with those dark eyes that I wanted to drown in. My crush on Rachel Black had never been anything but one-sided and therefore I hadn't held out hope but still…if I could have her for one night…_

 _"_ _Yeah" I said biting my lip and hating myself for how young I knew it would make me look._

 _Rachel giggled before falling back into my arms. God she smelled so good. Like a combination of vanilla body wash and coconut shampoo. Two distinct smells that were directly unique to Rachel Black._

 _"_ _Good" she said grinning as we carried on walking back home to my house "God your hot" she whispered giggling again. I could feel myself blush. I didn't know if she was serious about my temperature (which had recently spiked) or if it was the drink talking._

 _My Dad had left when I was nearly three and my Mom…well my mom was about as useful as my Dad. She worked three jobs to support me and even then I knew she was only counting down the hours until I had enough money to leave home._

 _The house was deserted. I hadn't even shut the door before a still smiling Rachel shimmed herself out of her dress. I was either hallucinating or the luckiest man alive because she was wearing nothing but black panties under her dress. She was still watching me with that brazen look. Like she knew what she was asking for but she didn't care. I had always liked Rachel Black, and that night as she stood in front of me naked I realised that night that I loved her._

 _She was stood there her breasts right in front of me, her skin smooth and her hair falling in just the right places, wearing nothing but her heals and black panties and I couldn't help my draw dropping. This was the woman I had dreamed about on more than one occasion and I couldn't believe that this was happening._

 _And when I managed (not acting like a lovesick teenager thank you very much) to show her my bedroom (the champagne still on the side of the dresser draw) she went willingly enough. I spent the whole night with my mouth on her. Whether it be on her own or on her breasts, or in between her thighs there wasn't a part of her that I didn't touch with either hand or lips._

 _And Rachel had never been anything but loud and loving. She had grasped my hair and responded with such an intensity that even in my slightly drunken state I couldn't have imagined._

 _For one night she had been mine. For one night everything had been perfect. For one night I had had the girl of my dreams in bed with me and for the first time in more than one way I was happy._

 _Then the day afterwards it all fell to shit._

 _I had gone to grab some breakfast before school. Rachel was still curled up asleep in bed nothing but a sheet covering her and next to nothing left of the imagination._

 _I didn't understand what had happened. I still don't understand what happened. For one second I was watching a man walking with his little son toddling along. Like fathers and sons, fathers and their children enjoying life like nothing was wrong. It was everything I supposed I wanted and everything I had never had with my own father. And it made me so angry that I felt like I was having a heart attack._

 _Much more than that I don't remember. In fact all I remember was Sam Uley in my head explaining what was happening. By the time I was conscious it had been three days. Jared had put out word that I was on a three day bender. By the time I had managed to stagger home my Mom had still not come back from one of her jobs and Rachel Black had left._

 _That had been four years ago._

* * *

And now she was back. I could see the curls of black hair falling down her back before she turned. Her eyes caught me and I had a chance to see that they were still the same shade of chocolate brown before something inside of me shifted.

It was so gradual that I didn't even notice it. Imprinting could slam you in the fact like a train like it had done to Sam and Jared and Quill. Surprisingly it didn't do that to me. Rachel Black had been my whole world for a while now. Of course Destiny would screw us over by ensuring that I would get to spend eternity with my High School crush who had skipped town the first chance she got and would likely do so again.

She stared at me her eyes wide and so very, very brown before she shut them down right in front of me. In those three seconds that we caught eyes I knew that I would do anything for her. Be anything…

"Hey" I said even as Jared's eyes widened in a horrified realisation. Rachel turned around again and I got a look at her face. She still had the same clear complexion and her heart shaped face. Her eyes flashed again when they came to meet mine and for a second I could see something endless before it was masked by something hard and unforgiving. Rachel's eyes had always been her most expressive feature and they hadn't changed.

God a man could lose himself in those eyes.

She worked her jaw swallowing harshly before she looked back down nodding to herself before ducking back into the kitchen. Instantly I wanted to follow her. She was still like a drug. I never wanted to take my eyes of her.

"Oh for the love of God" came Billy's yell. I turned to see him looking at me with wide eyes that narrowed as he took in my expression. Rachel stuck her head round the door her hair falling over her shoulder. "What?" she asked shooting the three of us dark looks with those dark chocolate eyes. "Is it Jacob?"

"No" Sam said cutting across in his deep tone and Rachel's expression narrowed again. Oh shit, I forgot she had been Leah's friend (even when it'd been Leah and Rebecca for so long) and therefore she probably wasn't too impressed with the image of Sam.

"Right" she drawled again her eyes cutting across me tinged with something I wanted to identify with as interest but I wasn't so sure. She turned around and a made a half aborted step towards her desperate for those eyes to arrest me again. In unison Jared and Sam reached out to grab me and I couldn't shake me off. They dragged me from the house, from my imprint, from Rachel before I could move my locked muscles.

Once I transformed furious that those eyes weren't in sight I ran at Jared even as Sam's black wolf reached out with his teeth to stop him.

Embry transformed a second later from his own house. It only took a few seconds for Jared to catch him up as the four of us began struggling in earnest. I desperately wanted to transform back to human. To run back into the house and worship at Rachel Black's feet.

 **"** **Holy Shit"** Embry said laughing hysterically even in wolf form.

 **"** **Boy even I know Rachel Black is too good for the likes of you"**

I snarled snapping my teeth. Damned if I would ever admit that he was right.

Embry giggled again his wolf rolling over and laughing as if he found my pain and misery amusement.

There was a pause as we all listened to him laughing. Even Jared was struggling not to grin which I though cruelly unfair considering that Kim didn't speak to him for nearly two weeks when she found out that he was a wolf and when he had explained (brilliantly my ass) about imprinting.

 **"** **Not cool asshole"** Jared growled back baring his teeth.

Embry muffled his sniggers. God was that little shit getting it when he imprinted.

 **"** **Enough"** Sam said with the tone and expression of a man/wolf on the verge of having a migraine. He had a no nonsense tone when it came to us. Somehow I believed that Sam was very proud of it.

We ignored him. Unless it was an order we pretended to ignore him. It was a pack tradition.

 **"** **Thanks"** Sam said rolling his wolf eyes.

Embry paused in his endless mocking before he broke out into giggles again his entire wolf's body shaking. **"Wait till Jake hears about you imprinting on his sister"**

Oh God. I was going to end up related to Jacob Black.

 **"** **You did WHAT?"** came a yell in my head so strong that I nearly recoiled (emphasis on nearly)

Jacob Black had re-joined the pack.

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 **These chapters will alternative POV between Rachel and Paul so the next chapter is Rachel's POV. Hopefully i will update as soon as possible now i am on a break. **


	3. Owner Of The Lonely Heart

**Hi another chapter posted, I want to thank you all for the reviews from the previous chapters and keep em coming! Next Chapter we will be back to Paul's point of view.**

 _ **Italics-**_ **Flashback**

 **Also the OC mentioned is Shay, all of the imprint parings will be the same.**

 **Disclaimer-Nothing is mine other than Shay.**

 **Please read and review.**

* * *

I Would For You

Paul/Rachel Fanfiction. When Rachel Black left La Push nearly four years ago to go to college she was carrying a secret. When she returns to help pick up the pieces in the aftermath of her brother's disappearance she has no idea of what fate has in store for her and the effect it has on her life.

Chapter 3-Owner Of The Lonely Heart

Rachel's Point of View.

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Paul was still as stunning as ever. He was still tall with the same cheekbones that could cut glass and those same eyes that had practically hypnotised me the last time I'd been home.

I managed to shut the door to the kitchen behind me my hands shaking and my heart pounding every second. Looking at the man who had taken my virginity, had left me in his bed and then hadn't bothered to ring for four years made me furious. But he was also the father of my daughter.

Shay had looked as a baby like me. But when she had turned three her features had begun to develop more and I realised how much she looked like Paul. She had the same dark eyes as he had, the same cutting cheekbones, the same jawline. There was more of him in her than there was me.

Don't get me wrong, I had never found Shay's resemblance to her father anything less than adorable. But it did eat at me when I saw Paul in her face and I hadn't told him.

But then again, he had left me naked in his bed. Once I had got over _that_ humiliation he had ignored my phone calls for nearly a week until my father (and I suspected on advice from Sam Uley) had instructed me to leave him alone.

"The boy's going through a tough patch at the minute" my father instructed Jacob and I. "No need to make it worse.

Nearly three weeks later as I was packing up to leave I realised I was late. If I hadn't have had sex a month before I wouldn't have bothered. I would have chalked it down to being irregular. I would have chalked it down simply to the stress. I had been young when my Mom had died and I had never been like Rebecca who had everything simply as planned.

I had bought the test at the drug store in Forks, far away from the reservation where word could get back to my Dad. I had took the test in the mall bathroom.

 _My nails were still the same shade of black I had worn at Prom. Had it really been a month since that? I still couldn't sleep at night wondering what the hell I had done to make Paul who always seemed so shy and sweet and funny with me react like I was a leaper._

 _Maybe I wasn't attractive enough._

 _I looked down at the black polish, at the contrast between the polish and the white plastic of the pregnancy test. I had another minute to go. Already I had changed my plans in my head should the test come out positive. The University of Hawaii had battled it out with the University of Washington and had allowed me six weeks after acceptance to change my mind. If I was pregnant then I was deferring my course and going to see my sister._

 _Rebecca would as ever know what to do._

 _My mind wondered again. Maybe I wasn't attractive. Me and Rebecca were twins that much was true but we weren't identical. Rebecca had always been the pretty one with her skinny body and her long black hair and her bangs, I had been the one with the curly hair and the hips and the curves and I had been the one who had struggled with buying Prom Dresses while my sister (who had graduated early) had simply chosen one and skipped out of town on the arms of her Surfer Husband._

 _Maybe the reason that Paul had left me was that I was to fat. To curvy, had too much flesh, maybe I was bad in bed? It had been my first time and God knows that I knew it had not been his._

 _And now here was my punishment. Here was the price I had to pay for falling in love, for letting myself allow one night for my pathetic crush to be fulfilled. God he had probably skipped right of too Jared and Sam and now they were laughing at how pathetic Rachel Black was. How bad she was…how ugly she was._

 _I checked the clock on my phone even as my eyes watered. I had thirty seconds left to go._

 _I steered my thoughts away from Paul. If I was pregnant then what would happen? Would I have to choose between my career and my child?_

 _Rebecca I knew would accept me into her open arms but I wondered, how long by bubby and bright sister would keep my secret. Solomon I knew to be a decent guy but he didn't need to pay the bills for four people instead of two, and sure enough they would want to start their own family. They had been married for nearly a year and a half their honeymoon period was almost over._

 _And neither one of them would like the idea of lying to my father, my brother and the father of this (for another fifteen seconds) imaginary baby._

 _I had resolved myself to that fact. I wouldn't tell my father. He would insist that I tell Paul and then move back home and I wanted….no I needed to leave this small minded town. I didn't need to be trapped._

 _Jacob…would he take my side? He hated Paul I knew that, he didn't know exactly what had happened between us but he wasn't stupid. He was a decent guy as well and he would tell Embry and Quill and then Paul would find out because God Bless the both of them but neither could keep their mouths shut._

 _Ten seconds left._

 _The baby wasn't even real yet and I was already planning what to do. Maybe because I knew…maybe I was mad but I had been sick, late, sleepy…I was advanced for all of my sciences I knew what the signs of pregnancy were. I had experienced all of them._

 _Nine seconds._

 _I would have to keep it if I was. I took another deep breath as the number chimed down to eight, to seven. I didn't have the willpower to go through with an adoption and even If I did there was something pulling at me not to._

 _Six, five, four…_

 _I couldn't have an abortion, while I wasn't against it I knew that if I was pregnant I couldn't have a termination and that was if I could ever afford one. This was a baby, this was Paul's baby…this…_

 _Three…two…_

 _This was a plus sign._

 _This wasn't hypothetical anymore._

 _Suddenly I wasn't panicked anymore. I don't think I was anything anymore._

 _I was numb, completely and utterly numb as I stared down at the white stick of plastic._

 _How long I was sat there I wasn't sure but then suddenly I could move again, I threw the test in the bin and left the toilet. I was alone in the bathroom and I walked to the big mirror. My hair and face were both a mess. I washed my hands methodically and splashed some water on my face._

 _I straightened up suddenly pale but resolute and my hand found my still flat stomach._

 _"_ _It's ok baby" I whispered unable to help myself "Momma's gonna take care of you"_

 _And that was a promise I intended to keep._

"…Rachel?" my Dad asked wheeling his way into the room as I was finishing plating up my dinner "Are you alright?" he was watching me critically. I shrugged determined to not meet his eye.

"Airplane travel just caught up with me" I said rubbing a hand across my jumper. My Dad's expression softened. "Don't worry about it" he said looking less old and less stern and more like my Dad from before I had left. Before I had gotten pregnant. Before the world had turned to shit.

"Dad do you mind if I walk down to the beach and clear my head" I said staring at the plate of food in front of me.

Suddenly there was a howl in the distance. I jumped but my Dad shook his head "Don't you worry about that either" he said grinning broadly "Believe it or not that's coming from the other side of the Rez, nowhere near us"

That was a lie I could tell but I didn't want to question it for my own sanity. "Go" my Dad said grinning "We can eat together tomorrow. I was thinking maybe some prime beef ribs"

I stared at him, prime beef ribs were Jacob's favourite, but decided again not to question my father's almost nervous breakdown.

"I'll be back soon" I said warningly turning to grab my phone and keys and a book from upstairs. I didn't bother with a jacket. It was cold but not freezing and the cold air was just the right slap in the face.

* * *

I made it down to the beach just as the twilight was coming. First Beach had always been beautiful and even though I knew it wasn't a real beach, not like the ones in Hawaii I could still see Shay playing here. I wondered briefly what life would be like for her if we moved back here. She was only four but I could tell that she would love it here. She could easily substitute sand for green grass and easily remake friends. She could be with her Uncle and her Grandfather…and her father….

What would Paul be like as a father?

That train of thought however was dangerous and I shook my head.

I reached for my phone filliping it so I could ring Rebecca.

She answered on the first ring.

"Jacob?" she asked her voice filled with worry and I knew Rebecca had never forgiven herself for leaving Jacob when she'd gotten married. I knew she worried about him the most.

I filled her in on Bella Swan and the situation. Rebecca, who had also been married at eighteen carefully didn't judge but mostly berated both Jacob and my Dad for not stopping a clear infatuation with another taken woman. I carefully let her rant before she stopped.

"How's Sol?" I asked carefully. Rebecca and her husband had been struggling. They had been trying for a child for a while now and while I knew it wasn't Rebecca, Solomon had been convinced that their lack of conception wasn't his fault either. Rebecca was too proud to admit the truth…her marriage was on the rocks but I could easily read through her bullshit.

"Fine" she said finally. "I…"I could see her shaking her head over the phone. "He's out" she said finally "At the surfing school"

She then changed the subject. "You wanna speak to Shay? I just put her to bed"

She didn't wait for me to answer already knowing the answer was yes. It was nearing Shay's bedtime and I knew she would want me to read her a chapter. We were working though the Harry Potter series. Shay didn't like fairy tales and after a series of nightmares about Red Riding Hood I had decided to change to Harry Potter. We were doing alright so far.

It was still light enough to read by so I found a comfortable spot on the rocks and sat down.

"Hi Momma" said the voice that made me close my eyes and smile. Shay had the ability to make everything feel better.

"Hey Angel-Girl" I said grinning even as my eyes watered. I had been away from her for nearly eight hours and already I was missing her so much it was difficult to breathe.

"How was your day?" Shay was in Kindergarten and loving it.

"We spent the whole day learning how to write our names. I already knew so Mrs Manson let me colour a butterfly while the others practiced I took it home to Auntie Rebwecca and she pinned it on the fridge" she lisped. I grinned again, I had spent a lot of time working on Shay's reading and writing and I was proud that she was so advanced.

"You tucked up in bed?" I asked and Shay shuffled letting me her he slide into the sheets of Rebecca's guest room.

"Momma?" she asked carefully "How long you gonna be gone?"

I paused, her tone had taken a turn for the sad and I didn't like that. God I hoped Jacob was home soon. "Two weeks at the most" I said trying to smile "I'll be home in time to take you for you ballet recital"

Shay cheered. Her ballet recital was a dance that included dancing like a butterfly and she had to have wings. They had to be connected to her wrists so they flew out and had to be made of fabric. Shay had been delighted and had insisted that we choose the fabric together. She had chosen on a nice buttery yellow silk with gold glitter and lace at the bottom. She wasn't really a pink girl, though a light baby pink had come in close second which had amused me to no end.

"I miss you" she confessed "I like spending time with Auntie Rebwecca but I miss you" I closed my eyes again feeling like she had reached between my ribs and squeezed my heart with her tiny hand.

"I miss you to Angel-Girl" I said trying to keep my voice light and friendly.

"Now shall we begin where we left of?" I asked trying to distract her and flipping open the book.

Shay shuffled down in bed the phone still pressed firmly against her ear. I knew Rebecca was also in the room curled up near the door listening so when Shay fell asleep she could take the phone off her.

"Chapter 7. The Sorting Hat"

Shay managed to hold on until the end of the chapter and didn't even insist I sing the song before she fell asleep. I said a quick goodbye to Rebecca, promised to ring her tomorrow and then hung up. It had been nearly an hour and a half and the night had steadily grown colder and darker.

I stood up stretching my legs, I needed some food, a shower and a good night's sleep I decided as I walked back to my house. I let myself in the front door and came face to face with the reason I was here. The reason I had left my daughter in the care of my sister and the reason why I had taken a painful walk down memory lane.

Standing in the doorway, several inches taller, with more muscle than I had ever seen him with, cropped hair and looking pale and skinny was my baby brother.

Jacob was back.

* * *

 **And I will update as soon as I can. Please leave a review and tell me what you think. **


	4. A Few Good Men

**Hello, here is another chapter.**

 **The character of Jackson is an OC but an important one and for all of you wondering about Jacob and Billy at some point past Chapter 10 that will be addressed. So far it's about building the relationship between Paul and Rachel before something gets in the way.**

 **Next Chapter-Rachel's point of view**

 **Disclaimer-Nothing is mine.**

 **Please Read and Review.**

* * *

I Would For You

Paul/Rachel Fanfiction. When Rachel Black left La Push nearly four years ago to go for college she was carrying a secret. When she returns to help pick up the pieces in the aftermath of her brother's disappearance she has no idea of what fate has in store for her and the effect it has on her life.

Chapter 4-A Few Good Men

Paul's Point of View.

* * *

Once Jacob was back and he gave me a beating and a half for something so completely out of control that it was impossible to predict life carried on as normal. Bella Swan was still on her honeymoon with the Cullen Vamp and while Jacob was horrified at the thought of them actually having a real honeymoon the little show he did at the wedding seemed to calm him down long enough for him to relax back into pack business.

And thankfully those horrific dreams he projected onto the pack about Bella seemed to have stopped as well.

That led me to another problem. What to do about Rachel Black. Fortunately Sam seemed to take pity on us all (factoring me pining over my imprint, Jacob smarting over a woman he could never have and Leah's worry about Seth so close to their father's anniversary) that he went to the rest of the elders and asked permission to host another Pack Bonfire.

This went down well. Billy it seemed wanted to ease Rachel into what was in store for her, personally I was offended but I understood, Emily had reacted badly and Sam still wanted himself dead for what he'd done.

I hadn't seen Rachel since Jacob's return, since the night I had imprinted on her and I was desperate to see her again. I wondered if she still smelled like a combination of vanilla and coconut. I wondered if she still made those sounds in bed as she had before.

Suddenly I was very glad I was in human form.

* * *

The bonfire carried on as planned. Sam directed us to find wood to burn for the better part of most of the afternoon while Emily and a stony faced Leah set up food with Sue. Jacob and Billy came once we'd all settled down and Rachel followed.

I smelt her before I saw her, she still had that mouth-watering smell of coconut and vanilla but there was something else attached to it. It smelt like sea salt and what I thought was caramel but short of sticking my nose up against her (which I didn't think would be appreciated by all parties) I wasn't sure. She was dressed in a pair of tighter jeans than the other day that hugged around her waist in a wish wash blue colour, a grey shirt that showed of all of her curves and a pair of brown boots with a small heal that stopped before her knee. Her hair was scraped up this time into a messy bun that ended around her neck tendrils falling down her face, she was wearing minimal make up but she looked stunning.

Good _Lord._

Her eyes found mine for the briefest of second before she looked away turning to get a bear from the cooler. Now or never really. Jacob shot me a withering look promising me all kinds of ill before I stood up and moved myself over to her. Sam God Bless him distracted Billy and Jacob with a discussion about football and soon the rest of the pack sans Leah were all involved shouting like maniacs about the current season.

"Hey" I said sliding up to her, she jumped before regaining her composure.

"Hey" she said finally her eyes still searching my face as if I held the answers to some long lost question. I stared back at her gladly trying to give her the answer.

"It's been a long time" I said before mentally kicking myself. What a way to bring up our last encounter.

Rachel snorted one eyebrow raising in a way that made me want to kick myself again before grovelling for forgiveness.

"Yeah" she said finally her tone full of some long lost derision.

"Look" I started again, "I wanted to apologise about the last time we saw each other…" _about our one night stand you haven't been able to get out of your head_ I mentally shouted at myself.

Rachel blinked. "Which part" she hissed under her breath "The part about sleeping with me or running out the day after?"

Suddenly I was very glad that the rest of the pack were still engaged in their football debate.

"The last part" I said finally feeling sheepish.

Rachel blinked again, whatever she had been expecting my reply to be I was sure that it wasn't that.

"Oh" she said finally looking surprised. "Well I'm a big girl Paul don't feel like you have to worry about my feelings"

"Look" I said trying again as she took another long swig of beer.

"Do you wanna go and get a drink sometime? As friends nothing more?" I asked trying to keep my tone even. "I really wanna make things right between us for however long you're staying"

It was fragile ground but I was hoping that it could be broken. Rachel regarded me coolly. She seemed to be making a decision in her head and I realised that she thinking something over. Finally I saw something flicker on her face in the firelight before it disappeared to be replaced by her cool mask of indifference.

"Alright" she said carefully as if she was weighing something out that only she could comprehend. "But I warn you I don't plan on staying long" she caught my expression and shrugged.

"I was staying for as long as Jacob was missing. Now he's back so I can go…" she deliberated on the word for a second "Home"

"Wait your leaving?" never in my life have I ever been so glad for the presence of Jacob Black. Clearly he had decided that I was spending too much time basking in the warm presence that was his sister so he had decided to come over and catch the last end of Rachel's sentence.

He looked at me before he raised an eyebrow. There was a look on his face that I didn't want to identify because it reminded me of pity.

Even Billy had looked up at his son's words. He didn't seem to look at me but instead he was looking at his daughter and I realised that he had been hoping that with me in the picture the move could become permanent.

Looks like he was wrong.

"I'm going to go see Becks in Hawaii for a bit, maybe look at some job opportunities over there" Rachel said looking around everyone's expressions with her face set. Clearly she'd been expecting opposition to this move.

Billy stared. "I was hoping you'd consider moving back home" he said in his usual blunt way "I didn't realise that you were serious about living with your sister"

Rachel rolled her eyes her expression becoming increasingly bitter. "No I bet you didn't" she muttered so only me and Jacob could hear it. Jacob looked very much like he wanted to elaborate on that but Billy who hadn't heard the last bit of her sentence continued speaking.

"You only came home once when you were at college, Rach, and that was in your first year, you didn't want anyone there when you graduated."

Something in Rachel's expression shifted then, she looked guilty for a split second before she shrugged. "You were there for the High School one and that was much more important"

I shifted remembering exactly what had happened at the High School one and before. Jacob shot me a questioning look but turned back to his sister.

"Hey why didn't you want us there?"

Rachel shrugged again. "I was fine on my own, I am fine on my own" there seemed to be a double edged meaning to that that seemed to resonate around the campfire with a silent effect. Embry muttered something to Quill and the two of them took Colin, Brady the newest wolf Jackson (who was only twelve) and watching with wide eyes to the nearest corner to get more wood. Jared, Kim and Emily all carefully began to talk about something else and Seth turned away at the insistence of his mother. Only Leah was still watching Rachel intently as if trying to figure out the answer to a complicated math problem. Rachel shrugged again. "Look I don't know what you want me to say, I was fine on my own, graduation wasn't a big deal for me I had other stuff on my plate and I've been thinking about getting out of the state since then, I don't understand" she said her voice rising "Why you have a problem with this when Rebecca barely graduated and ran off to get married to a man that you hate"

The corner of Jacob's mouth twitched. He too seemed to agree with Rachel's assessment of Billy's opinion of his brother in law. Billy spluttered for a few seconds before apparently giving up. Rachel turned to me again her brown eyes assessing mine before she nodded.

"If you wanna go for a beer then call me I suppose" she said finally before placing her empty bottle on the table. "I'm gonna go make a phone call if you don't mind, don't start the stories without me I'll be ten minutes"

Jacob sighed as she disappeared down the side of the path that lead to the beach. "That's the fourth phone call she's made since she's been here you know" he said shaking his head. "And I'm not being funny it's not Rebecca because their close but not inseparable." He paused shooting me a look from where I knew I was stunned into silence by the way the conversation was taking place and changing shape around me.

"You might have competition" he said looking rather ill at the thought. "And I was just beginning to get my head around you in the family" he shook his head. "Bet ya he's a nerd"

"Jake" Billy warned shooting his son a look, "Come and sit down" Jacob did so next to Embry and Seth who patted him on the shoulder. Billy spared me a glance "You too" he said his voice soft "I'll talk to her see if she can stay a couple more weeks until you've figured out a way to break the bombshells" he spared another glance at the path his daughter had walked down, "I agree with Jacob though, the last four years have been very odd, I don't think she's been the same since she's left here"

Since I slept with her I though bitterly plonking myself down onto a log. Well at least I had the one date. A beer could lead to another. I just had to figure out how to go about it gently. Whatever Rachel was hiding she had to know that she could trust me with it. That I could be supportive and that she could depend on me to help her.

And if that took some time then bring it on. I could wait.

"Paul" said a voice to my left and I looked up to see Jackson the newest and smallest wolf his eyes were huge in his head and he looked terrified, I remembered being the first there when he'd turned and how he'd had a panic attack once he'd managed to force his way back to being human.

"Yeah kiddo?" I said in a moment of generosity I allowed him to sit down next to me.

"Does it always suck this much?" I didn't know what he meant weather imprinting or being a wolf and I shrugged throwing my arm over his thin shoulders in a moment of comfort. God he was tiny. And skinny.

"Sometimes, but kid" I said as he looked up at me "It always gets better when you've got brothers watching your back" he shivered again and I allowed him to curl up at my side ignoring Jared's look of surprise.

So I had a sensitive side, so shoot me.

When I looked up from the quiet kid sitting next to me it was to see Rachel Black's brown eyes staring at me something conflicted in them before she smiled, it was a genuine one at that and one I was only to happy to return.

* * *

 **Next Chapter will be coming soon, please let me know what you think of this little instalment. **


	5. All That You Rely On

**Hi so here is another chapter. This one delves a little bit more deeper into Rachel's past than before. I will keep this update short and sweet but rest assured she does still want to make things work with Paul, unlike the books she has an actual relationship with him. Also this is cannon in regards to some aspects of the books so expect some Breaking Dawn spoilers before we go all AU.**

 **I know this is very slow burn but stick with me. All events lead up to another.**

 **Next Chapter-Paul's Point of View**

 **Please read and review.**

 **Disclaimer-Nothing but Shay is mine.**

* * *

I Would For You

Paul/Rachel Fanfiction-When Rachel Black left La Push nearly four years ago to go to college she was carrying a secret. When she returns to pick up the pieces in the aftermath of her brother's disappearance she has no idea of what fate has in store for her and the effect it has on her life.

Chapter 5-All That You Rely On

* * *

Rachel's Point of View.

The confrontation with my father, brother and the father of my child wasn't planned. Neither was the going out with the father of my child for a beer. Neither had been lying to any and all of them about Shay. But it had happened. It was difficult to describe how lonely I felt when had come to the pregnancy. Even after the car accident (which had left me with more scars than I was prepared to admit, both mental and physical) I was lonely. Going through something like that was hard especially when the only support had been from my sister.

Don't get me wrong, Rebecca had been fantastic. She had fed me, clothed me, let me move in with her and had lied through her teeth for the better part of four years which I knew kept her up at night. I had asked too much from my sister and I knew what I had asked could potentially damage my father and my brother's trust in her for ever.

But there was something about being home, Shay would love it here, she would love the green and the rain and the wooden houses that my father and her father lived in. I knew my daughter and I knew that she would soon realise that she didn't have a father around even if she didn't realise it now.

My lip was now so chewed that there was a cut on it I pressed into it with my teeth revealing in the pain. It helped keep me grounded. But Paul was still Paul…he was still the same man that I had fallen in love with, the puppy fat was gone and the attitude and I could see him, I could see him playing with Shay, helping her with homework, taking her out to the beach, scaring away all the boyfriends. I could see him with her.

I had struggled with depression both before and after Shay was born, it had been I believed a combination of guilt and the accident. Shay had been struggling in her incubator for nearly a month before I'd been allowed to take her home. That feeling of crippling helplessness had nearly suffocated me.

* * *

The next morning I woke up staring at the ceiling of my own room. It had what I'd spent hours doing after I'd realised I was pregnant. I couldn't think like that anymore.

"Hey" I said to my Dad as he watched with an expression of mild disgust as Jacob began chomping his way through what looked like a baby piglet trapped between two loaves of bread.

"I'm gonna go for a walk on the beach before it gets to cold" I said. My Dad's face lit up obviously thrilled that my tone of voice and expression were back to normal, that there was something I could do in this small town.

I pondered to myself as I walked down the path. Say Paul did want to know about Shay, what would I do? I had a Civil Engineering Degree, I had been one of three girls in my class and that had been in Hawaii, what could I do here, even if I was in the next town over?

But could I ask Paul to move to Hawaii with me? He had a life here to, he had friends and I had denied him so much that I wasn't sure if It was possible for him to grant me any leeway?

What if he decided he didn't want me but he wanted Shay? Granted I had never put his name on the birth certificate but a DNA test would easily prove that he was Shay's father, what judge would deny him part time custody, if not full custody?

And then there was another path, the path where he didn't want to know either one of us.

Well, I thought grimly. If that was the road we went down then all the secrecy would have been for nothing, if I went down that road then the only people that I was hurting then would be my father and my brother.

I reached the beach, it was a cooler day than the one before and the sea was a darker grittier shade than the ones that I had come to love in Hawaii but I shut my eyes and breathed in once again revelling in the fact that I could smell salt and hear waves crashing.

"You look nice" said a voice that I instantly recognised.

I opened my eyes to see Paul standing there watching me. He was wearing jeans and a blue v neck that clashed with his eyes and God he looked delicious.

"You don't look so bad yourself" I said before I could stop myself. I looked back down at my fingers, I was in a shirt that was old and frayed in dark red but there was blue paint at the edge of the hem from Rebecca's gallery when she allowed Shay to paint on one of the blank canvers.

Paul for the most part looked unnaturally thrilled.

"You wanna sit?" he asked and for lack of something better to do I nodded.

"You still wanna go out for that beer?" he asked as we sat on the sand and watched the waves. I snorted. "I think it might need to be something stronger."

Paul laughed his voice loud and confident.

"Can I ask you something" I said still not looking at him because if I did then my resolve would fail.

"Of course" he said comfortably watching me rather than the waves.

"Did you…do you ever think about that night after prom?"

Paul blinked no doubt surprised that I had brought it up again.

"All the time" he confessed in such a way that I knew it to be truthful.

I nodded looking down again. Paul hesitated.

"Do you?" he said carefully.

I wanted to laugh, of course I thought about it, I had a child because of it. We had a child because of it. It was all on the tip of my tongue to say but I couldn't force the words out, couldn't force them and what came after them to take flight.

Instead I swallowed them like the coward I was.

"Yes" I said finally. It was perhaps the most diplomatic answer that I could give him.

"I think about it"

Paul's hand found my chin then, he lifted it up his brown eyes finding mine.

"Are you really going to leave?" he said finally. I bit my lip the flesh catching between my teeth, and something about that movement made Paul's pupil's darken.

"Yes" I said finally. "But…" God I had to throw something out there, he had to know that I was willing to work even if he could never forgive me, he had to know that in this moment I was willing to try.

It was all I could rely on.

"If I was to go to Hawaii, if I wanted a future far away from here, would you come with me?"

It was open now, the question, the debate, the struggle. Could Paul fold his cards in early or could I? Could either one of us allow ourselves the courage to love each other again or would our past forever make it difficult for us. Because I did love Paul, I had loved Paul before Shay and I had loved him afterwards. And I wanted so desperately to tell him but I couldn't until I was sure he couldn't break me.

Paul blinked at me his mouth falling open and I realised with a sense of dawning horror that he'd never intended for me to ask his question. He'd never intended me to be interested. He worked his jaw furiously before he managed to speak.

"If you gave me some time…to get my affairs in order" he said sounding so much older than he was, his words so much older than he was. "I would" my eyes closed of my own accord the water burning at my eyelids.

I opened them wiping under my eyelids. Paul was still watching me his eyes gentle and warm and so brown. The exact same shade of his daughter. I wanted to cry. I wanted to tell him about Shay, what I had done, about the accident about…about what came after…

I needed to tell him about what came after,

He needed to know how selfish I had been, that if he choose to stay with me Shay was all he was going to get all the missing pieces and all.

* * *

 _"_ _Miss Black?" Doctor Alexander said slipping into the ICU I was in, it was the same one Shay was in her little body tucked into a blanket and hooked up to more tubes than I could bear, I had come out with three broken ribs and if it wasn't for the fact that I had escaped from my bed three times now I wouldn't be allowed near my daughter._

 _"_ _Is something wrong with her?" I said sitting up. I was in loose sweats and a jumper and my hair was loose, lank against my head. I hadn't slept in days so therefore my temper was a little short._

 _Doctor Alexander shook his head. "No Baby Shay is doing fine" he said gently sitting down on the nearest seat. "It's you I wanted to talk about"_

 _I stared at him._

 _"_ _Rachel" he said gently "When we operated, as you know there was a large chunk of glass in your uterus, it pierced through the skin and punctured a vessel that lead to the right ovary"_

 _I shook my head, I knew what was coming and yet I didn't want to admit it, didn't want to listen to him but he was still talking._

 _"_ _Rachel" he said gently "The chances of you having another child and safely carrying it to term is very slim. Given that the right ovary had to be removed, the right fallopian tube damaged and the left one effected it will be dangerous for both you and the baby"_

 _I couldn't take my eyes of the baby in front of him. All I could think about was that she had to survive, it wasn't until much later that the horror of the Doctor's words seeped into me. Shay would be an only child, she would never have any more siblings, I would never have any more children._

* * *

"I wish you would" was all that came out.

Something flickered across Paul's face.

"There's some shit I'd have to tell you before I went" he said finally.

I laughed bitter broken and hollow.

"There's some shit I'd have to tell you before you left with me" I said finally. "And if I did tell you…there's no guarantee that you'd still want me"

This time it was Paul laughing tilting his head back the same broken, bitter laugh that I had given him mere seconds ago.

"Somehow Rach I think I'll always still want you, the question is whether or not you'll still want me after all this shit comes out into the open"

I stared at him then, what secret could Paul, be hiding that he didn't want anyone to find out about, what secret was so terrible that it outwitted my own.

And suddenly he was kissing me. His mouth was on mine for a split second before he realised it. It was feather light and soft and still it burned. Still it managed to invade all my senses. His sent was still the same, the smell of the sea and fresh grass and all things fresh and bright in the world.

For a second everything seemed to hang suspended before it all came crashing down.

There was a single wolf howl in the distance and I jumped backwards my hands clenching into fists in the sand. Paul jumped like he'd been scaled in his seat watching the treeline his eyes straining.

"Shit" he muttered under his breath. "You should go back to Billy" he said urgently. I wanted to ask, desperately what was wrong. But there was something about the way he was looking at me, the way his eyes were wide and his expression tight and the way he was gripping my hands that made me listen to him at least in that moment. There was something about him in that second, the boy I had fallen in love with was stripped away to be replaced by a man that seemed older than I had ever predicted him to be even in my wildest imagination.

I nodded scrambling to my feat.

I was walking along the path when I heard what sounded like wolves plural howling out their anger against whatever the world was throwing at them.

I shook my head, the sooner I got out of this place and home to my daughter (preferably with Paul in tow) the better.

* * *

 **Again, thank you all for the reviews.**

 **I'll update as soon as I am able to.**

 **Let me know what you think. **


	6. Because

**Hi so here is another chapter. The last bit of this chapter is rated M, and the next chapter will follow on from this so will defiantly be rated M.**

 **This chapter does contain stuff from the books which don't belong to me. By around Chapter 11 or 12 Shay will be introduced probably. The first half of this story was always supposed to be based on the relationship between Paul and Rachel.**

 **Disclaimer-Nothing is mine.**

 **Please Read and Review.**

* * *

I Would For You

Paul/Rachel Fanfiction-When Rachel Black left La Push nearly four years ago to go to college she was carrying a secret. When she returns to pick up the pieces in the aftermath of her brother's disappearance she has no idea of what fate has in store for her and the effect it has on her life.

Chapter 6-Because

* * *

Paul's Point Of View

The events of the past hour seemed to slip into the system like a mind altering drug. Gone were the days were I in my foolish naïve existence had believed that the pack could exist in peace. Jacob Black ranked higher up in the Pack hierarchy than Sam Uley ever would but the two men had co-existed simply because that was the way the world worked. However in a split second that had changed.

I won't deny it, even for veteran pack members like me and Jared the urge to roll over and show our bellies in front of Ephraim Black's grandson was strong. Because regardless of where Sam would take the pack the end of the line was that the grandson of a Black was not meant to follow the grandson of a Uley.

And that created a different problem. Because in the space of twenty four hours a lot had changed. My future brother in law (fingers crossed) had defected from the Pack and took Seth with him. Regardless to what we all thought about Seth's pro-Cullen ways he was still a young member of the pack and he was still considered so much so a little brother.

Sam was still trembling with anger an hour later even as he went to see Jacob's father and explain. Jared went with him but Sam's alpha voice was still strong as he ordered me to talk Collin, Brady and Jackson home. Looking at them I could see why he instructed me to it. Collin was white faced, Brady was shaking and Jackson looked nothing short of terrified. No matter what had happened today they were still young and they had heard the full power of the alpha today. I dropped Collin of at his house to his mother who knew his secret (having seen him transform) she took Brady in as well muttering about two strong cups of tea.

That left me with Jackson.

His father was out but he looked so small and scared that I couldn't help myself. The bond that had sprung up between me and Jackson was one that had shocked not only the pack but also myself. I had never banked myself as the caring type but I had been first on the scene at his transformation and therefore had been the first one to see the panic first hand. Despite all the other transformations I had been in the background, watching Sam and once Jared calm the newer wolves into submission. I had never had to do it on my own like I had done with Jackson.

It created a bond with you and I could see why people like Jared and Quill had trouble defecting. I knew the inside of Sam's head and I knew his next step would be to bar Embry from going after Jake which would create no ends of tension between Embry and Sam.

So I took him home with me, tucked him up on my couch and got myself a beer, Sam didn't need us tonight not when everything was so new and fresh and confusing.

And then there was Rachel. Rachel who had no idea what the hell was happening because I had never told her. Rachel who would be so pissed with her brother that she would either march over to the Cullen's to confront them or she would be out the door so fast I couldn't stop her. And to think…this morning I had been considering asking Sam for a leave of absence to go to Hawaii with her. This morning when everything seemed so new and bright and untouchable.

Now everything had gone to shit again.

"I don't get it" Jackson said slowly once the effects of the alpha's voice had finally begun to leave his system. I sat down next to him on the couch. "What kiddo?" I said looking at him. He shrugged. "She's pregnant, it doesn't matter what it is at the moment it's an unborn baby…why does Sam wanna slaughter a pregnant woman and her family when the chances are she could end up giving birth to a totally normal baby?"

I shrugged. "I dunno" I said truthfully. Because I really didn't. On the one hand I could see Sam's perspective, but now I'd had the chance to calm down I could see where Jacob was coming from. Whatever small of a chance it was there was a chance this baby could be totally harmless. Then we would have started a war for nothing. Because there were more vampires invested in the fate of the Cullen's and I knew we couldn't take all of them on without sustaining heavy casualties and God only knows how many more wolves being caught in the crosshairs. Younger wolves than Jackson who had only just turned thirteen. Younger than Brady and Collin who were a year older.

Jesus, when I Paul Lahote am debating the slaughtering of the leeches then you should know that the situation is bad.

Whatever fragile ground however that had built up between me and my imprint was now forever shattered. And Rachel by her own admission had told me I was on borrowed time.

I wondered and not for the first time what it was that she was so desperate to return to in Hawaii. According to Jacob's thoughts she had never mentioned a boyfriend and even if she had one the Rachel Black I had once known would never string a boy like that. Whatever it was she didn't want me to know until I could obviously see it for my own eyes. And now thanks to a combination of Jacob, Sam and Bella Cullen that plan had gone spiralling down the drain.

I left Jackson asleep on the couch finished my beer and crawled upstairs into bed and a restless sleep.

The next morning the Pack received the news that Leah had defected.

Sam didn't speak to anyone for the rest of the day.

* * *

It was three days before I saw Rachel again. The Pack had officially disbanded for the night and Jared and Collin were the ones on Patrol. Having done the last night shift I was more than happy to see the inside of my house and my bed especially as it was beginning to rain.

And then it happened. Fate no matter how much she hated me decided to be kind to me and throw me a bone.

There was a knock on the door. I had just gotten changed into my old ass pair of bottoms that I slept in and I was not in the mood to be pulled out of my house and into the rain because Jacob and the Cullen's had decided to make a dick move.

I opened it fully prepared to yell only to see the last person I had ever expected to see on my doorstep.

It was Rachel.

She was shivering, her hair wet and her mascara smudged slightly. I stared. "What?" but before I could finish my sentence Rachel Black had entered my home clad only in her jeans and jumper and boots, still watching me with those brown eyes that could make any man fall to his knees. She kicked off her boots and socks so that her toes were sinking into my plush carpet.

I shut and locked the door as if I was dazed, trying to keep the rain out and her in. she turned and looked at me her eyes still blazing with that hard look different from the one that I had last seen when she was in my house.

"Don't talk" she said finally hooking her jumper over her head and letting it fall to the ground. And honestly in that second I couldn't speak even If I wanted to.

She was clad in a pink bra covered in black lace that seemed to enhance her breasts and lift them up. They seemed bigger slightly than I had last seen them but still…

"I…" If she kept going where I thought she was going we were going to have a problem real soon. Especially if she wanted to back out…my wolf was rolling over inside purring in delight as we were presented with our imprint in the flesh.

"Don't talk" she said finally her hand reaching behind her back to unclip her bra letting it drop to the floor.

And then her breasts were free. They were suddenly there in front of me. Large and beautiful and big enough for me to cup them in my hands nipples hard and a soft dark colour. And they were all for me.

"Fuck" I said in a voice I knew was slightly strangled. God I wanted to touch _so_ badly…I wanted to fix my mouth on her skin and solder my hands to her skin bury myself in every inch of her and die a happy man. I had thought her beautiful before, but now…

Her body was curvier somehow. There was a softness around her hips and breasts and ass, but still Rachel had the same soft curves she'd had before.

I came closer, close enough to smell her skin. "Tell me to stop" I said urgently holding on to the last shreds of sanity I had left. God she had been naked about five seconds and I was already hard. Harder than I had ever been before in my life including that time at Prom. There was something to be said for werewolf stamina and our recovery period.

"No" she said finally looking up at me her eyes still hard and blazing. "No I won't"

And with a sense of finality in the air, my wolf roaring in triumph I allowed her to wrap both her arms around me and pull me down in a scorching kiss. Her skin was pressed up against my skin, my nerves on fire and with a grin that I knew was reflected throughout my whole body I picked her up by the waist wrapped both her legs around mine and carried her clumsily upwards to my bed, to my arms and (hopefully) into our future.

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 **Yeah i made Paul more intelligent than the books did.**

 **Also i will update as soon as i can, a big Thank You to all who have reviewed so far and please stay tuned...**


	7. Home

**Hi so here is another chapter. This chapter is the shortest one so far and is I think rather badly M Rated. I had hoped to make this story 20 chapters but i'm not sure if that's gonna happen so bare that In mind.**

 **Next Chapter is in Paul's point of view. There are two chapters left before halfway and then we hit the really interesting plotline. Disclaimer-Nothing is mine.**

 **Please Read and Review.**

 **I have been doing exams so I apologise for the lateness of this chapter.**

* * *

I Would For You

Paul/Rachel Fanfiction-When Rachel Black left La Push nearly four years ago to go to college she was carrying a secret. When she returns to pick up the pieces in the aftermath of her brother's disappearance she has no idea of what fate has in store for her and the effect it has on her life.

Chapter 7-Home

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Rachel's Point of View

It wasn't a conscious decision choosing to go to Paul that night. It wasn't the beginning of something. I had gone round with the full intention of demanding that he tell me what was going on. My father was as usual nowadays when it came to anything to do with Jacob decidedly tight lipped and spent the entire morning after learning he had run off again with Sam and Old Quill.

It wasn't a conscious decision to kiss Paul, to ask him to put his hands on me. To feel one more hit of that addicting drug that was Paul Lahote before I went back to Hawaii to be with his daughter something I should have done long ago. But I did and now I was in this predicament of Paul loving me, being with me, his hands on me and again like the last time I hadn't thought it through.

Paul right now was working on sucking a rather large bruise on my neck but I pulled back. He looked up confused his brown eyes blown with lust. "Somewhere where my Dad won't see" I muttered pulling his mouth back down onto mine. Paul chucked deep in his throat his hands finding my jeans and panties pushing them down in one split second.

There was no foreplay involved. No kissing or touching or anything. It was just hard sex. To be crude it was quick and easy. Paul slid inside me like he had never left and set a pace that was hard and fast. My hands found the tight muscles of his backside and I pulled him flush against me as one hand found the headboard and the other one cupping my breast finger brushing over the nipple everytime the bed moved.

His eyes found mine and refused to let go and I realised that I couldn't look away from him either. Because there was something in that moment that made it impossible. There was something in that moment that made me want nothing more to do than show him a picture of Shay and demand, (and beg) that he love us. Because God knows, and Paul did not that that I wanted him. In that moment I wanted him despite the secret I was hiding.

Despite the secret that I knew he was hiding.

Paul climaxed with a groan bringing me over the edge with him and I swallowed around air as his nose rubbed against the edge of my cheek. He had done that once before to, he pulled out leaning back on one elbow watching me with a satisfied smile on his face.

"Shut up" I said rolling my eyes before the laughter bubbled out of me. Being with Paul again was like a hit of a drug, like being drunk.

"Hey" he said carefully. "When did you get theses?" his hands were on my stomach carefully tracing with one soft fingertip the two scars I had gained. One had been from the piece of glass that had pierced my stomach and the other one had been from the C-Section. They were angry, red and vivid and a looked up expecting to see Paul being repulsed by them like I was but I was surprised to see what looked like curiosity on his face.

"Accident" I said truthfully his face so open and trusting that I couldn't help but be open and trusting back.

"Car accident" I added looking down before away shifting out of his hands. "Sorry" I said sitting up. Paul followed me wrapping one arm around my chest and pulling me back down, "I don't care" he says finally. "You don't have to tell me if you don't want to"

"Do you have to leave again?" I asked carefully. Paul grinned his eyes very warm.

"No" he said smiling softly his hand finding my chin. "Rachel we…" he looked down at his hands as if hating himself for saying the question. "There's some stuff I need to talk to you about…I…I wanna go to Hawaii with you but I…I need to be honest with you"

I sat up wrapping my sheet around myself.

"I know" I said truthfully "I think I need to be honest with you as well…there are things I have to tell you and I think you'll hate me afterwards" I shook my head.

"Nah" Paul said grinning "I could never hate you" he shook his head. "I love you too much" he shrugged at what I supposed was my dumbfounded expression. "You seem shocked?" he laughed bitterly.

"Jesus Rachel I have always loved you" he shook his head. "I loved you before all this shit happened…" he shrugged at my expression and I realised that in that second I was not the only one who was keeping secrets.

"Can we pretend for a few seconds then that nothing is wrong?" I asked him carefully, because I was warm and week and so in love with this man and I didn't want anything to change that.

Paul grinned at me softly for a second before he bent down and pressed a small kiss into my hair. "Sure" he said finally.

And then I suppose I must have fallen asleep because when I woke up there was a series of banging's at the door that had me leaping out of bed.

Paul swore rolling his eyes before clambering out of bed and reaching for his shorts.

"If it's Embry again I'm gonna kill him" he muttered. I sat up running a hand through my hair and reaching for my panties because if it was Embry…well like hell was I giving him any visual.

I trudged downstairs picking up my discarded jumper. Paul however had stopped at the door and had thrown out his arm for me to walk straight into his back.

"What?" I snapped feeling disgruntled because I was in a good mood and I didn't need it ruined.

But God if I had known then what I know now.

It was that boy again…Jackson…the one who Paul seemed to like, seemed to be able to take care of. The boy who had in his own way convinced me that I could trust Paul with raising a child. That if he could look after a boy like Jackson then he could look after and raise Shay.

Jackson however was with another boy. He was small too, I would have put money on him being eleven. He had shortly cropped brown hair on the sides and piled high on the top and he looked terrified.

I couldn't help my motherly instincts from taking over and a made a step towards him his whole body shaking with something before Paul stopped me.

"Jackson why the hell did you bring him here?" he growled looking furious his skin burning me.

"His name is Jeremy" Jackson said watching me with wide eyes. "I saw him in a park Paul…a park…I didn't know what to do…Sam's not patrolling today and you were the only one nearest" he shook his head.

"I don't know what to do" he said miserably. The boy, Jeremey snarled again and then suddenly Paul was pushing me back yanking his pants down and leaping out the door.

And then he was gone. I opened my mouth to scream but in his place was a giant wolf, Jeremy was also gone and in his place was a smaller white wolf. His dark eyes fixed on me before the dark silver wolf I know knew to be Paul shuddered, a snarl escaping his teeth. The white wolf immediately fixed his expression on the bigger one and then they were gone back into the woods and out of sight.

I turned to look at Jackson who was watching me with an expression of great apprehension.

"You wanna sit down?" he asked taking me in "Only you look quite pale"

I stared at him before finally the air was knocked out my lungs and everything and everyone around me went black.

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 **And on that note I leave you...**

 **Reviews are golden. **


	8. An Honest Mistake

**Hi so here is another chapter, i hope this clears some of the events of the last chapter up. This is a slow burn relationship but i think in another three chapters Paul should learn the truth.**

 **Please read and review.**

 **Disclaimer-Nothing is mine**

 **Next Chapter from Rachel's point of view.**

* * *

I Would For You

Paul/Rachel Fanfiction-When Rachel Black left La Push nearly four years ago to go to college she was carrying a secret. When she returns to pick up the pieces in the aftermath of her brother's disappearance she has no idea of what fate has in store for her and the effect it has on her life.

Chapter 8-An Honest Mistake

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Paul's Point Of View

There was a split second when I transformed and then everything went blissfully blank. Thankfully I wasn't alone. Within a second of transforming Embry was there along with Quill and they both ran at the wolf, the kid really…Jeremy dragging him back through the bushes by the skin of his almost dark blueish fur. The kid was panicking hysterical and I couldn't help but feel a twinge of pity even though he was responsible for ruining the moment between me and Rachel.

Now I had to go and explain everything. God I hoped she'd let me finish rather than run out the door before I even got a chance to explain. Jackson had done what any young wolf would have done…hell he'd done exactly what I would have done in the same situation. He'd taken a time-bomb just waiting to go off and managed to deflect it onto himself while all the while looking for help. Honestly the kid had done better than I'd thought he would.

 **"** **Really?"** Jackson asked his voice cautiously hopeful in my head. **"I did the right thing?"**

 **"** **Course you did"** Embry said roughly Jeremy now a crumpled heap at his feet his wolf body still twisting. Gotta give it to the kid for an eleven year old boy he had a good grasp on the finer points of swearing.

Jackson snorted under his breath pawing at the ground. Then I realised something.

 **"** **What happened to Rachel?"**

 **"** **Your girl fainted"** Jackson said with all the tack of a bullet to the head.

 **"** **WHAT!"** Embry shouted as I snarled turning back into human form disregarding the fact that I was naked in the middle of the woods. The newest wolf covered his eyes with his paws.

Kids.

"I gotta go" I said to Embry's wolf who nodded his big shaggy head. Embry wasn't stupid, he could handle the wolves, both Jackson and the newest one even as I sprinted back up the path.

God I hoped the kid hadn't just left her there on the floor.

It turned out that he hadn't. Rachel was sat in the kitchen. She'd gotten changed into her jeans and jumper again and more to the point I'd seen that she'd gotten my bottle of cheap (and hey Sam had been the one that had gotten me work) scotch in front of her and had poured herself a shots worth.

"I'm sorry" I confessed.

It was perhaps the most shit excuse I had come up with in my entire life but as far as I was concerned I was. Desperately sorry.

"I know the legends" Rachel said effectively cutting off what I thought was my own reasoning. My own telling of the story. Because of course this was Billy Black's daughter. This was the woman who had grown up knowing every inch of the legends that we had known regardless of her statue in the pack. This was the woman who had broken all laws without even trying who had seen without meaning to, who I know had to explain this too.

"I suppose that you might have questions" I said finally before kicking myself because of course she had questions. Of course she would, she had just seen me turn into a wolf.

Rachel snorted taking another gulp of the drink in front of her.

"So the legends are true?" she asked "The one's my Mom and Dad used to tell me, Jake and Becca as kids?"

"Yes" I said finally.

Rachel nodded rubbing that little crease on her forehead.

"If I remember correctly" she said breathing heavily. "The wolves are only supposed to come out when the Cold…when the Vampires are around"

I nodded.

Rachel groaned her eyes filling with tears.

"Who?" she asked her voice breaking and my lower lip trembled because this was my girl and she was in _pain_.

"The Cullen's" I said finally.

Rachel turned to look at me.

"That's the family that Bella Swan married into" she said sharply. I nodded. Rachel raised one perfectly pointed eyebrow.

"Does she know?" she asked. I nodded. Rachel's eyes widened for a second before she closed them.

"She loves him" she said finally.

Huh, maybe there was a way this whole Bella Swan problem could finally have a good outcome.

"Yes" I said finally. "And…and I love you…even though I'm dangerous…"

Holy shit. I realised that for once I could truly emphasize with Edward Cullen because he too had been in love with a powerful, beautiful woman who he didn't deserve because she could see the goodness where he thought there was none.

 _Fuck._

Rachel snorted again, hands fingering the glass as if she too had come to that realisation as well.

"So Jacob didn't really stand a chance" she said smirking again. She caught my eye for a second before lowering it to the ground again.

"How many are there?"

I smiled though there was no humour in this situation whatsoever.

"Me, Sam Uley, Jared, Quill, Embry, Jacob" I winced as she downed the rest of the scotch and poured herself a long finger again.

"Jackson, Colin, Brady, Seth Clearwater, Leah Clearwater" Rachel shot me another look before ducking her eyes back down to the table. "And now Jeremy. God knows there's gonna be more what with everything that's going on"

Rachel stared at me. "Oh good" she said drowning another glass at the liquid. "This just gets better and better…tell me what's coming next. I suppose your here to tell me that the forest is full of Fairytale characters plotting around a fire"

She shook her head and then because God knows I hadn't shot myself in the foot more than once I decided to blurt out the truth.

"Edward and Bella are having a half vampire child. Should they survive they intend to turn Bella into a vampire, which is against the treaty that our grandfathers dealt with. We have no idea how dangerous the child is or…" I swallowed.

"Jacob, Seth and Leah all deflected to help protect it" I said finally.

Rachel stood up then her hair flying around her face.

"So Sam leads the pack into another fight to slaughter my brother" she hissed.

"No" I said weakly "We…were gonna wait"

"And then kill an innocent child"

"It's…its hardly innocent" I stressed but Rachel had already scoffed picking up her jacket.

"It's a child Paul" she said finally "If you cannot see that it has no control over its actions then I really despair for all of you"

I winced. In truth murdering a child wasn't something I believed we should do but I didn't want to open that door, especially in front of Sam and Jared who were universal in their hatred of all vampires regardless of the relationship that had sprung up between our pack and the Cullen's. Seth and Leah were still family, Jacob still had a stronger grasp of his Pack than Sam and he had the right to it. And despite everything with Rachel came Jacob and there was no life I could see with her that didn't include him. Hell there was a time where we were pack brothers and friends.

"Sam's the Alpha" I said finally "I follow him"

Rachel blinked at me her mouth twisting again.

"You're not really smart are you" she said. "Sounds so self-prophesying, following one man and to hell with the consequences."

I had no answer to that, I wasn't even sure what it meant. But God knows I had a feeling of what she was trying to say.

"I left that day…I mean…I didn't come back to you because I transformed" I said truthfully. She looked at me then really looked at me and I was transfixed for a brief second before she stood up standing straight and tall, and her expression changed in that moment.

Because she understood finally, that it hadn't been a choice for me to go that morning. It had been a horrible decision and one that I'd had no choice in making. Fate had chosen the both of us a long time ago. The one thing that I was still unsure of was that I had fallen in love with Rachel before the transformation. Had the same happened to her?

It was on the tip of my tongue to tell her about the imprinting. To tell her that we were destined to be together, that I had loved her since I had known what love was and that the wolf didn't have to change anything but she was already speaking again and I fell silent in preparation for what would either be my saving or my undoing.

"I remember" she said her eyes closed as if straining for the legend that she like the rest of us had known since childhood. "That it was only the strongest men of the tribe that were transformed, that it was only the men…how do you explain Leah?"

I shrugged. How do you explain Leah? How do you explain Leah's whole persona never mind the rest of it? A biological mix up of pain and hurt and anger and horror after horror after horror. Either way Leah was one of us and despite all her best intentions to prove contrary the pack did look after one of their own.

"Leah and Seth transformed together, something set Leah off and the shock of a girl transforming caused Harry Clearwater to have a heart attack. The shock of that caused Seth to transform and Harry was dead before Sue ever got to him" I said finally.

God I was so happy that I was no longer sharing any of my thoughts with the Clearwater siblings. The topic of their father was taboo even for mild-mannered Seth and it made Leah even more volatile.

"So girls can develop…what the gene?" Rachel asked her expression morphing from that cold mask of indifference into one of horror.

Stupidly I thought I knew where she was going with this and I shook my head.

"If you'd have it, like Jacob then we'd know by now. The Cullen's, Bella, the baby, that's what set of Jeremy. That's what set of Jackson, God knows if the…child…is born then there's gonna be more of them. Each as young as the other"

Rachel looked up at me with eyes that were filled with so much agony that I physically struggled to breath for a few seconds.

"So a child could get this, a girl…our daughter…"

She turned away as soon as she could see the look on my face.

Had she thought about it? About having a child? About having a child with me? About a daughter with me?

She shook her head her hair rippling down her back before she burst into laughing sobs each as terrible as the one beforehand. She forced herself to stop her hand outstretched as if to block me from touching her and God did it hurt.

"Back then" she confessed turning back to me her face once again an impassive mask. "I thought it was me, I thought that I was the one that was unlovable. I thought the reason that you left was because you didn't want to be with me and now you tell me that it's because you turned into a giant wolf and that boys younger than you, younger than that kid out there…" she shook her head.

"There's more" I confessed. May as well rip the band aid off when it came to the imprinting rather than wait…but before I could open the mouth Rachel had stood up and slung her jacket over her shoulders.

"I don't want to know" she said her eyes wide but her expression resolute.

"Ok" I said because at that point it was. Rachel shook her head. "I don't want to know any of this" she said coming closer. "I don't want this life…I don't want wolves in my backyard I want sand, I don't want to have to worry about my kids turning into wolves or my father lying through his teeth in order to get me home I mean…my God it makes so much sense now" she shook her head her expression forming into a murderous anger than I knew wasn't directed at me for once.

She turned to face me. "I have some Daddy issues that I crave the answers to" she said shaking her head. "And you are damn well gonna get out of my way while I get them"

I paused. "You'll come back?" I asked and God I was so pathetically hopeful I could hear it in my own voice.

Rachel shrugged her expression still a mixture of anger and fear and blind white hot hurt that I was powerless against it. I was powerless against her. I moved aside helplessly, I moved aside as she stormed out of my house where mere hours ago we'd been making love with each other wrapped in each other's arms and talking about our secrets and now it was all crumbling to dust…again…

And there was nothing more I could do about it.

A howl sounded out over the distance and Rachel scoffed again her eyes wide and brown and burning. "Go" she said without turning round "I'll drive myself home and pick up the pieces"

And with that she was out of my house and into her car and then in the distance before I could say or do anything.

Perhaps that should have been the first clue.

But it wasn't at least not to me and I was forced to drop my pants and deal with not only Jeremy but Keaton and Rory the two twelve year olds that due to increasing danger that the tribe faced had been forced to become wolves to save their families.

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 **And let me know what you think. **


	9. The Downwards Crash

**Hi so here is another chapter, I think that I might be able to get another chapter out before I go on holiday but i'm giving you warning now.**

 **Disclaimer-Nothing is mine.**

 **Please Read and Review.**

 **On a side note-I understand some aspects like Rachel and Paul's age are different than the books describe them as. However this story is AU, there are gonna be bits that are AU and age is one of them. Also I known the American Education system is different to the UK one so if there are any discrepancies over Shay's schooling then I apologise.**

 **Enjoy.**

* * *

I Would For You

Paul/Rachel Fanfiction-When Rachel Black left La Push nearly four years ago to go to college she was carrying a secret. When she returns to pick up the pieces in the aftermath of her brother's disappearance she has no idea of what fate has in store for her and the effect it has on her life.

Chapter 9-The Downwards Crash

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Rachel's Point of View.

I was shaking when I left Paul's place, my skin felt like it was crawling with something and I had to physically stop my car when I got to the beginning of my driveway to calm myself down. I felt like I was gonna be sick.

Jacob, Paul, Leah, Seth, Jared, Jackson, that little boy…all those lives ruined, all those _children,_ forced to become men so earlier than they had to. I wanted to cry, I wanted to scream, and I wanted to throw things.

And Shay…Good God what the hell was I gonna do about Shay? About my sweet little baby girl who had no idea that her father could lose control and turn into a wolf whenever she made him angry. She was _five_ , she was a baby she didn't understand any of this.

My anger only increased as my house came into view. My father had known about this, he'd purposely kept Rebecca and me in the dark and then when I had come home, when I had explained I was leaving he had looked at me like I'd stabbed him in the back and now it all made sense.

My mind was racing at one hundred miles per minute. This explained why he had never been worried when Jacob had disappeared, why Charlie Swan's visits were few and far between, why Harry Clearwater's heart attack was brushed under the rug in terms of the news. My Dad had purposely kept something that was potentially life changing to both me and my baby and had allowed me to find out half naked in my ex's house.

Ok so my Dad hadn't predicted that part but the fury was simmering under my skin.

One thing however was abundantly clear. The one thing that broke through the haze of anger and white fog and made me focus with sharp clarity.

I had to leave.

Now.

If Shay had this gene then I needed to be with her. I needed to keep her far away from La Push which seemed to be the trigger. I needed to keep her away…from Paul…

I swallowed down my sob.

I had been ready, so ready for a relationship with him, I had been ready for him to come to Hawaii and meet his daughter and fall in love with her the same way I did. I had been ready and so in love and once again so blind with the facts.

I was in Civil Engineering for God's sake I was supposed to have a career based on facts!

And now I had to confront my father. I had kept a secret from him for five years and now for the first time in my life I felt justified. I had to know why he had chosen to keep this secret from me, If I had never come back, If I had married someone else and had their child would he have told me that I could potentially carry a gene in my DNA that could forever change my child, my life…could potentially end it.

And God… _Rebecca_. My sweet honey and sunshine sister who was trying so desperately to conceive a child where I had succeeded with no help whatsoever. She had loved Jacob more than I had if that were possible, she'd practically raised him after the accident. The thought of telling her that Jacob turned into a wolf at will…

I slammed myself out of the car and up the path and into the house. My Dad was waiting for me. Judging by the look on his face I knew he'd known. Sam Uley had probably called him. If…but I couldn't think of his name right now.

"You know" he said finally watching me with those brown eyes that had made me feel safe as a child when the scariest thing I'd ever had to worry about was the monsters under my bed. Those eyes hat had kept me sane when Mom had died. Those eyes that had looked into mine and lied the same way I had lied to him.

"I know" I said finally.

My Dad sighed looking worn.

"I'm leaving" I said holding my head high. I would refuse to be bullied out of this decision. It was my choice and I was choosing to walk away. Running was something that I had used as a coping mechanism all my life and I wasn't about to change that now. I had ran when I was pregnant and I was running now. I had chosen Shay then without even knowing her and now I knew her perfect darling little face I wasn't about to make a different choice.

My Dad did look up at me then urgency colouring his eyes.

"Did you speak to Paul about things?"

"Hard not to when a kid explodes into a wolf in front of you" I said finally.

"Were you planning on telling me or Rebecca at some point? Or where we just supposed to wait till we changed to? Or God Forbid our children?"

My Dad flinched at that. "There was no reason too." he muttered finally his eyes dropping down. "As far as I knew you and Rebecca had made it pretty clear that you had lives in places other than here. And I didn't want to drag you home unless I had to"

"Jacob" I supplied finally. The pieces of the puzzle were finally all crashing down around me but that still didn't stop the anger from burning under my skin. My Dad nodded. "Charlie Swan's the Sherriff and Bella and Jacob have a rather…complicated…history and when Charlie learned that Jacob was missing I knew he was going to ring you and Rebecca so I did it myself and then…" he shrugged. "I didn't think that you and Paul…"

"You knew?" I asked incredulously. "You knew about that before today, you knew about Prom?"

The fact that my father who had hated even the remote discussion of sex when it came to me and Rebecca had known exactly what me and Paul had gotten up to was staggering.

My Dad blinked looking horrified.

"Wait…today…" and he blanched as I resisted a grin when I saw that the look on his face. Because I bet Sam had told him that too…

"Today wasn't the first time that you and he have had…" he gestured his hands together and I snorted. "You're not the only one in this family that can lie through their teeth and keep secrets. Did Rebecca tell you that she's struggling to conceive and that her marriage might be crashing down her ankles?"

My Dad shifted then. "No" he said finally. "No she didn't."

"I have to leave" I said finally wiping my eyes.

"I have to leave here, this place isn't good for me, Paul…" I shook my head. "I love him" I said finally. "I never stopped even for the last five years and while this explains everything I don't want this…I don't want werewolves and vampires and half vampire babies"

I turned then and walked steadily up the stairs.

I had never planned on staying long and that was noted in my clothes which for the most part were still unpacked and my boots strewn on the floor. I checked my diary finally as I was throwing it in. When I got to the airport I needed to see if they had a pharmacy. If there was one thing I didn't want it was another child and me and Paul had never exactly had a track record with protection. I mean…look at the one time we'd had sex previously.

I grabbed the last of my things and forced myself down the stairs. My Dad hadn't moved all that much from where he'd been sat in front of the kitchen.

"You'll ring me when you get home?" he asked and I paused on the spot.

"You won't stop me?"

My Dad laughed that same hollow, bitter, broken laugh he'd given for those years after my Mom had died. "You think it would make a difference? I learned a long time ago what happened when you and your and sister want something. You get that from your Mother and I could never make her stay either"

"Ok" I said finally swallowing hard.

"Rachel please call me when you can" he asked his bony and withered hands outstretched. "Please…"

I nodded grabbing his hand back, things between me and my father had never been simple. Out of all of the children he had raised into adulthood I had been the most difficult. I had, I realised then with a startling clarity that I was still the one that had lied the most. But I grabbed onto my anger with full force and let it consume me. At least until I got home to my sister, a bottle of wine and my daughter.

"Don't tell Rebecca" my Dad said and I looked down at him with raised eyebrows. "Why?" he sighed, out of the three of us Rebecca would probably understand this more, would accept this more. She had loved Jacob and protected him in a way I never could apparently and I thought that she would be the first person to accept what had happened.

"I want to tell her personally" My Dad said finally. "I should have done…I should have done this differently"

I nodded. "Don't hate yourself for this" I said finally. "I should have done a lot of things differently too" looking back It was impossible to say if I had done the right thing by keeping the existence of Shay to myself. I had chosen to protect my child and in light of the new evidence that both Paul and my brother were werewolves or whatever they were confirmed that in that retrospect I had done the right thing but as I climbed into my car and drove of away from my home I had to wonder.

Denying my father his granddaughter, Paul his daughter, Rebecca selling out her soul to lie to me and Shay not knowing about half of her family. Had it really done any good or had it caused more irreparable damage?

A wolf howled in the distance as I left La Push but I knew with a sickening sense of certainty that I would be back.

* * *

 **Next Chapter-Paul's point of view and will probably cover most of the latter events in Breaking Dawn. **


	10. In My Veins

**Hi so here is another chapter, I managed to finish two before I went away which is a huge improvement for me.**

 **This chapter consists a lot of what happened in Breaking Dawn, a lot of the conversation is based on the Wolf Pack's parts which aren't much especially in the second half.**

 **I think that this is the halfway line, the background for this story is done and therefore the following ten chapters will finally see Shay making her debut probably and the fallout from Rachel's decision five years ago. And probably Renesmee.**

 **Disclaimer-Nothing is mine.**

 **Please Read and Review.**

* * *

I Would For You

Paul/Rachel Fanfiction-When Rachel Black left La Push nearly four years ago to go to college she was carrying a secret. When she returns to pick up the pieces in the aftermath of her brother's disappearance she has no idea of what fate has in store for her and the effect it has on her life.

Chapter 10-In My Veins

* * *

Paul's Point Of View

I didn't even have to go over to Billy's house to know she was gone. The bond that had been strong and vital between the two of us even more so after the previous night had been lax for most of the day, the wolf moaning and groaning inside me at the thought of letting my imprint go.

But there were three teenagers turning into wolves. Jeremy had calmed down somewhat and managed to turn back even though he was shaking like a leaf in the kitchen of Emily's house wrapped in a blanket. Keaton had come back his body turning from the dark grey fur into his tiny eleven year old body. His best friend Rory now a light chocolate brown wolf was still in the woods somewhere but Jared was with him and I finally changed back, threw on a pair of jeans and a grey shirt that might have belonged to Sam at some stage and bolted to my car throwing myself into the fastest gear possible.

"She's gone" Billy said at the door. "She packed up and got the nearest plane back home" there was a long pause.

I blinked. I had known always in the back of my mind that Rachel would react by running, the way she had done so before, it didn't stop the hurt from kicking in like a slow poison.

"Oh" I said finally blinking back the sudden sharpness in my eyes. I would not cry in front of Rachel's father. Pride wouldn't let me-if I ever got a shot at getting Rachel back I needed some level of protection and breaking down around her father was probably not going to get me anywhere.

"I am sorry son" Billy said finally his voice soft and filled with something that could have been pity before his voice and his expression hardened. "But I still have to ask a very interesting question that I think I have the right to ask. What the hell happened that night of your Prom between you and my daughter?"

I blinked again head snapping back. Of all the things I had expected the old man to ask me about that wasn't one of them. I didn't think that Rachel would tell him about Prom. I knew that she hadn't told him before today. The old man and Jacob would have both let me know about it and I had kept that part of my past separate from my wolf's mind so not to clue in the almost always angry Jacob. And it was his bluntness that stunned me into truth.

"We had sex...that night..." the awkwardness was making it easier to breathe.

Billy Black raised one eyebrow with a rather sickening expression on his face. "Oh" he said finally. "Did you make her leave the first time? I mean..." he gestured changing his words. "I know she was leaving anyway but...she never really came back after that night"

I nodded feeling utterly miserable. "I changed that morning. Went out to get breakfast and changed...saw something and it set me off...you know" I gestured and Billy nodded again because he did know. Jacob and Embry, Quill, Seth and Leah had all told him enough about the unpredictability of our condition. Emily had shown him the damage we were capable off.

While I would cut my own balls off before I let any harm come to Rachel I could understand his aversion when it had come to having me in his family. "And by the time I had gotten my shit together she was already gone." I shrugged again.

Billy sighed again running a hand over his face. He looked old and careworn and beaten and just...tired...I couldn't blame him. And I got that. He had one daughter safe in Hawaii that he barely got to see, a son who was putting his life on the line to protect a vampire baby that nobody knew how dangerous it was gonna be and a daughter who had ran again after she had realised the depth of how badly the lies in this town ran deep.

"I'm sorry" I said finally. Billy nodded. "I know son" he said heavily... "And..." he paused as if each word was costing him pain. "I don't totally hate the idea of you being in the family"

I blinked. "Thanks" I said finally. Billy smiled bitterly "She'll come back eventually" he said though I could tell he was trying to convince himself rather than me. But there was no answer. Because at that moment the wolf howl that I recognised as Sam's was howling loud over the forest. Billy's face shuttered. "Go" he said finally. "Paul..." he said as I turned to drop my pants.

"Don't be a stranger...I want to know what's going on...and Paul" the look on his face was serious. "She will never forgive you if something happens to Jake...remember that"

I nodded swallowing hard. It was a horrific thought, whatever our differences I liked Jacob as a pack brother and I loved Rachel with everything despite the fact that she had left me again. Seth was a sweet kid even if a little annoying and Leah...well I didn't want Leah dead despite her bitterness that might have been well-deserved.

Murder...murder wasn't something I had signed up for. Even when the newbie vamps had arrived last year they had been uncontrollable, the Cullen's...for the most part they were decent people.

 **'** **Apparently were not attacking'** Embry said carefully. He was watching Jared and Sam converse in their human form with Seth in the area of the forest we had long ago designated as neutral.

 **'** **Why?"** I asked. Embry snorted.

 **'** **Jake's imprinted'** I blinked. Well that was unexpected. Trust Jacob to do the unexpected, then it registered with me...

 **'** **On who?"** I gritted out. Embry snorted with glee.

 **'** **On the kid...she's a girl...and Bella's in the process of changing into a vampire as we speak. Edward Cullen's up there with her and Leah's in the wind because the blood was so bad. But it means were not attacking...we don't attack imprints remember? So I think there working out a treaty"**

Embry sounded thrilled and I realised that he had almost been forced into killing his best friend and a girl he had known comfortably. It had been hard on him I realised being caught between a rock and a hard place, Quill had had Claire, and Embry had had nobody, nothing, and no one.

 **'** **Gee thanks Paul'** Embry said looking irritable even in wolf form. **'I didn't know you cared that much'**

But none of it mattered because Rachel was gone.

* * *

Christmas was coming with all of its sickening horrible cheer, I was waiting until the two packs had managed a comfortable relationship and then I was going to take some well-earned time away go to Hawaii and beg Rachel to give me a second chance.

I'd spend my days fantasising about what I would do if they got a second chance with her. If she wanted me to I would move to Hawaii, stop phasing and live a normal life with her. I could go back to school and get myself a degree, I could be happy...we could have kids.

The words 'Our Daughter' sometimes kept me up at night. Wouldn't it be nice to have a daughter with Rachel? A little girl that looked like her that was a smart as her and as quick witted. A girl who was so beautiful like her mother that I would have to hit all the boys with sticks to get them to look away.

Oh yes I had plans.

And predictably that's where they all fell to shit.

The Vol...Whatever they were, were coming. Vampire Royalty and they wanted the (admittedly very cute) Cullen baby. Jacob would of course be standing side by side with his imprint and Seth and Leah with him and Sam didn't need Edward Cullen spelling it out for him. These Vampire's liked to collect and collect big...and God knows we were big.

The thought was enough to make the stomach roll.

And then we were gearing up for a fight, we were gearing up to die. Emily and Kim were walking around with beaten looks on their faces preparing for the inevitable. In addition to Jackson, Jeremy, Rory and Keaton we had three more wolves turn each as young as the other...these kids...Andrew at age eleven, Jamison at age twelve, Max at age thirteen and perhaps the worst Noah at the tender age of ten.

It was hard enough that we were in the mix. Jacob, Embry and Quill were all still in High School...Sam and Emily were engaged. Kim was graduating this year, Colin and Brady were chatting about girls all the time and beginning to stress out over assignments due in school...all these milestones that were taken away from us, all of these every day simple things, that could be taken away from us should we be left with no alternative but to fight.

I swallowed back the bile in my throat the morning of the conflict. Some days the only things that mattered were those moments where Rachel was in my head. Images of Hawaii, the sand, the beaches and the sun. Of Rachel's skin and the smell of her shampoo, of her quick and cleaver fingers. I thought about this all day blocking out most of the talk that took place between Doctor Cullen and what looked like the Vampire King.

 **'** **You disgust me'** Jared said finally when the Vampire's seemingly took a break.

I gave Jared a montage of all those thoughts he'd had of Kim including some of the more racy ones as revenge.

 **'** **Knock it off'** Sam growled pawing the floor. The seven little wolves (nicknamed by Quill) all giggled in their heads.

Ugh. Children.

And as it turned out much like we were with Jacob and Renesmee and Bella Swan we were wrong about the Royal Vamps as well...perhaps it was the fact that Bella Swan now had some freaky vampire power or whatnot. Because out of sheer dumb luck that had kept the wolf gene alive for so many years and what had I supposed given so many of us second chances, we managed to survive again.

Un-Fucking-Believable.

But it did create some paths clear to me, now that death wasn't an option anymore I could sit and think without a ticking clock looming over me. Christmas was over, the New Year was in and the snow was fresh on the ground.

And I had formulated a good, solid plan.

I would help Sam with the newest wolves until Jared and I were both comfortable with them running patrols without some form of graduated chaperone, I would make sure that my home was safe again and then I would go to Hawaii unaware of what was waiting for me there and ask Rachel to give us a third go.

But as it turned out I had no idea what that New Year had planned for me. For my Imprint, for my relationship. I had no idea the other huge bombshell lurking round the corner one that would leave me in pieces more than any other. My transformation, my imprinting, all the fights I had been through, the managing day to day with a single goal in mind.

Nothing.

And as it turned out I didn't have to go to Hawaii to gain this information. I didn't have to go to Rachel.

Because unknown to me, Rachel Black was coming home to finish the fight that we had started five long years ago.

* * *

 **And let me know what you think, I am going on holiday soon so this will be the last update for a while, a big thank you to all and I will see you soon for another Rachel's point of view. **


	11. Brave New World

**Hi so here is another delayed chapter. This is a short chapter, probably the shortest chapter and their isn't much dialogue.**

 **Disclaimer-I own nothing.**

 **Next Chapter-Paul's point of view-and the shit really hits the fan.**

 **Please read and review.**

* * *

I Would For You

Paul/Rachel Fanfiction-When Rachel Black left La Push nearly four years ago to go to college she was carrying a secret. When she returns to pick up the pieces in the aftermath of her brother's disappearance she has no idea of what fate has in store for her and the effect it has on her life.

Chapter 11-Brave New World

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Rachel's Point of View.

Coming back was something that was both dreaded and needed. I had never contemplated coming back to La Push once I'd had known that Shay's father could turn into a wolf at will, that (according to a text from Jacob) the little child born of Bella Swan and Edward Cullen was a harmless girl, a harmless half vampire, that Bella Swan had done what I could not and put everything she had on the line in order to be with the man that she so desperately loved more than her own life. I had never planned to return to the small town mentality that would judge me for the rest of my life for what I had done five years ago.

I was cutting out my own heart, not returning to Paul but I was doing it for my child so what did it matter?

But it was Shay that made me go back. Because my little five year old was asking questions, because my little five year old did have a father that cared for her more than I could have possibly imagined. I thought when I'd come back to look after my father, who spent years keeping secrets from me, when I'd come face to face with my runaway brother who had ran from more than I could possibly imagine I would finally be done with that dark part of my life, my childhood and those years without my Mom, those years where Paul, loving him from even afar had been enough for me, where I had never dreamed of being in his bed until I was.

And then I was pregnant with his child.

I was not selfish or stupid. Or perhaps I was. It was a question I had asked myself time and time again, when I had been pregnant, when I had held Shay in my arms the first time, when I had seen Rebecca lie time and time again to my father and brother choosing her position as my twin over everything else, even when I had gone home and I had seen the man I had done the most wrong to.

But I had taken steps to protect my broken heart and then the lie had become more and more practiced and bigger than what I have ever dreamed it to be.

I had hurt so many people and I wasn't the cold hearted slut that I knew so many people would see me as if I went home and explained. For how would I explain to my brother, my father, Paul, Jared and so more that I had lied through my teeth?

But while I spent the last year in Hawaii watching Shay grow to be more and more Paul's daughter I realised that if I was ever going to be a Mom like my own had been the doubts that had been waging on my mind for so long would have to confronted. I would have to man up and face my fears and the long ago secret I had buried from everyone.

And...i did love Paul. A few months after I had left I'd been angry, Rebecca had been terrified and then several bottles of wine later had said that she couldn't be mad at my father or my brother because she had and was keeping my secret for much longer.

My sister had never judged me or reproached me for not telling anyone about Shay. She had never yelled at me and when she'd realised the lie that I had roped her into telling for me, but now that my father had come clean about the biggest secret in our lives I knew her own bouts of dishonesty were keeping her up at night perhaps more so than it did me. She didn't need to tell me she was my twin.

And then there was Paul. I couldn't deny him a chance to know his daughter, I couldn't deny Shay I chance to know him. While I thought about Emily, Sam's fiancé, regardless of the scars littering her face, regardless of the hurt done to Leah I knew this was a woman as passionately in love with her man I had been...hell as I was with mine.

If Paul wanted me then I would do everything in my power to make it work. Gone were the days when I pretended that my heart wasn't breaking for wondering where he was and if he thought of me. For it was easy to admit that now. If he didn't want me...well...I had survived much worse. And if he didn't want Shay? Well I had still survived worse and I would make sure that her life didn't suffer for it.

A year's silence away from my family with all the knowledge that I now had compared to the knowledge that I knew they had, had significantly changed my perspective. I wanted Shay to have a father, an uncle and a grandfather and if that meant bearing the brunt of my family's anger for the rest of my life then I would do that.

So one morning in April I woke up determined. I rang Jacob, told him to wish Bella and Edward congratulations of the birth of their little hybrid baby girl and told him to spread the word that I was coming home and this time I think it was to stay.

Jacob was to old a hand at dealing with me to make a comment on how I had once sworn that I was never coming home and told me that he would tell Dad and that Dad would be thrilled. If he caught anything in my voice that betrayed how nervous I was about coming home then Jacob didn't show it but he like so many other people didn't know exactly what I had done.

Shay for the most part had been excited about leaving Hawaii. She had been excited about going to a new place. While the beach of La Push wasn't like the beaches of Hawaii I knew she'd like them and Shay her head filled with Harry Potter (her favourite series at the moment) was looking forwards to an adventure that she could claim was like Harry going to Hogwarts.

* * *

And so I packed up my bags and rented a hotel room in the nearest town closest to La Push and I packed Shay's bags up with me and swallowed down both my pride and my terror.

I put Shay on the plane for the first time and tucked her into her seat. I took her off the plane for the first time. I got my own ride to the hotel and got Shay settled in for the night. I slept an uneasy sleep and then the day afterwards I bottled down my fear and took the rented car up to my Dad's house in La Push.

I knocked on the door Shay clutching my hand and my Dad answered the door. Whatever greetings he had to say died on his lips when he took the child standing next to me gripping my hand like her life depended on it. His eyes widened and then they rose to me and I could only send one last prayer that this would all go according to whatever shitty plan I had.

"Hi Dad" I said finally.

"I suppose we need to talk"

Brave New World indeed.

* * *

 **And let me know what you think. **


	12. Didn't We Almost Have It All?

**Hi so here is another chapter, each person has two chapters each covering Shay's arrival into the story and this is the first one for Paul. The next one will be Rachel and cover the conversation she has with Billy and Jacob and the aftermath of this chapter.**

 **Disclaimer-Nothing is mine.**

 **Please Read and Review and let me know what you think.**

* * *

I Would For You

Paul/Rachel Fanfiction-When Rachel Black left La Push nearly four years ago to go to college she was carrying a secret. When she returns to pick up the pieces in the aftermath of her brother's disappearance she has no idea of what fate has in store for her and the effect it has on her life.

Chapter 12-Didn't We Almost Have It All?

* * *

Paul's Point of View

The phone was bleeping. I swore every bone in my body creaking. I had spent the last night on patrol and my back was killing me. I had barely managed to collapse into bed just kicking off my shoes and shorts and wrapping the sheet around me and closing my eyes instantly. It felt like I had just fallen asleep when the phone rang and I was not in a good mood.

"Hey" said a voice over the phone. I recognised it as Jacob. Curiosity made me sit up straighter. While the packs had settled down in some way there was still a blanket situation when it came to communication. Embry and Jacob had become best friends again and the younger wolves all had their transformations under control.

The fragile peace had been disrupted when one of the younger wolves Jamison had imprinted on a girl in his class. She was twelve like he was and while the imprinting had freaked him out once Sam and Jared had got him outside and calmed him down and explained that nothing needed to happen for a long time he'd managed to change back and come back inside Emily's house for breakfast.

Now on top of hearing about Emily, Kim, Claire, and Renesmee we now had to listen to thoughts on Jamie's new imprint Morag.

My own thoughts of Rachel had took slightly backstage for most of the year. We had seven wolves to train up, we had two younger ones in Colin and Brady who were finally ready to be put on the Night Shift providing they were with an older wolf.

"Has another wolf imprinted?" I asked rubbing my hand over my face. I wouldn't put anything on another wolf imprinting and I was so not ready to deal with the drama.

"No...err...i don't know how to tell you this" he said over the phone and I sat up straighter something shivering down my spine. Because Jacob calling me in the late hours of the morning could be about many things, Jacob calling me in the morning sounding unsure and concerned was probably about the one thing that the two of us had in common.

"Is it Rachel?" I asked reaching for my jeans and desperately trying to stop my hands from shaking so I'd transformed in my small overcrowded room.

"Yeah...err...she's back" Jacob said pausing.

"Back?" I asked blankly before something hit my stomach, hope and excitement and bone deep aching relief sweeping all over me. "She's back...what to stay?"

"Yeah I think that's the plan" Jacob said carefully. "It's just...err...Paul I'm not sure how to tell you this over the phone, cause my Dad's only just stopped swearing and now he's drinking and I think I'm gonna need to talk to Alice about a new set of dishes because he's smashed at least five plates and that's before he hits the second bottle of scotch and..."

"Jake your rambling" I said reaching for my blue V-Neck. God what if she decided to come here again? Shit I was gonna have to clean up this mess.

"Look, she came back and she dropped the mother of all bombshells on us and...i think you need to be prepared and please don't kill her because she's my sister and then I'd have to kill you if we had another Sam and Emily situation on our hands and even though I wanna kill her...she's still my sister"

"You're rambling again" I deadpanned.

"I'll be over here as soon as I can"

There was a pause before Jacob sighted over the phone. "Ok" he said finally before I heard the dial tone.

I sighed rolling my eyes and reaching for my converse shoes. I had no idea what was going on but all I knew was that Rachel was back and apparently staying. Maybe we could recover from all the secrets and lies.

* * *

I got there just a little bit after ten and...Their she was.

Rachel was sat on the porch a mug of something clutched in between her hands. She looked as if she'd been crying and that didn't sit right with me or the wolf growling at the thought of someone hurting our mate. She was wearing grey jeans and a red jumper, her hair was shorter than the first time I'd seen her cut so that it rested softly against the top of her collarbone and layered gently. She didn't look surprised that I was here.

"You shouldn't be here" she said flatly watching me as I sat down on the porch next to her.

"Jacob rang me" I said casually. She still smelt like coconut and vanilla and I let the scent wash over me soothing me for the first time in one year.

Rachel snorted looking back at her coffee. I was surprised and more than a little worried when she looked back up her brown eyes swimming with tears.

"Rach what's wrong?" I asked moving closer.

Rachel took a look sigh.

"Five years ago I did something without telling you or my Dad or Jacob. I was hurt and I thought...it was before I knew about the whole werewolf thing, and I was depressed a little. My Mom and..." she shook her head leaning back her hair shifting down her back. The new length was kinda distracting.

"I did something that I knew would hurt everyone and I didn't care and now when I tell you I know that your either gonna turn and rip my face off or walk away and never come back and I don't know which one I'd rather prefer"

"Neither" I said my voice strong. "I will do neither to you, and I need to talk about something anyway. You left before I got a chance to explain about some of the other side effects of the werewolf transformation and I really need to tell you about it..."

"I got pregnant" Rachel said with the air of getting the worst over with as fast as possible and effectively cutting off my rambling.

I stared at her.

Pregnant?

She'd gotten pregnant? With a baby?

I stared in silence trying to wrap my head around the entire situation. If Rachel had gotten pregnant five years ago then there was only one...there could only be one potential father figure. That was what she was telling me.

And she was telling me that she had ignored me for five years.

"Mine" I said flatly already knowing the answer. Rachel nodded grimly her face set.

I nodded swallowing back the bile in my throat. Rachel was telling me that I was a father, she was telling me that I had a five year old child and that she had deliberately not told me about it. I blinked again turning to see Jacob's front yard in perfect detail. Suddenly it was all clear cut. I could feel the air and see the trees. It was like transforming the first time everything was clear and concise.

"Why didn't you...you had five years and you didn't think that I had a right..." I trailed off strangled.

Rachel swallowed. "You really think that you would have stuck around?" she said quietly. "You really think that we would have worked out, even if you hadn't been a werewolf or whatever I wanted to leave and you couldn't, don't think I don't know that I did a terrible thing but you presented me with the facts as I knew them at the time and I responded. I protected...our child..."

Our child. How many times had I thought of the past nearly six years of that? Of a child that was half me and half Rachel. And now she was telling me that I had one with her and that she had completely cut me out of it's life.

I nodded again but not really listening. I really wanted to hurt her even as the wolf was protesting the thought.

"I need to go" I said between numb lips. "I need to go because if I stay then I'm gonna kill you"

Rachel didn't flinch, she was fearless and not in a good way and she had been prepared for this but that didn't stop me from hating her.

I stood up and forced my way down the steps into the trees outside Jacob's house, I managed to get my jeans and shirt off before the shaking in my hands became too bad and my vision was slowly becoming red. Then I kicked off my shoes and my body began twisting viciously.

Once I was in wolf mode I ran. I had to run away before I went back and scratched Rachel's face to it resembled Emily or worse.

Thank God Sam wasn't in wolf form right now.

And it wasn't until I got practically to the state border that I realised that there was a child that s partly my responsibility that had never met his or her father and whose father had never got a chance to be there.

(Didn't we almost have it all?)

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 **And I will update as soon as I can. **


	13. Perfect Little Accident

**Hi here is another chapter, this sheds more light on the relationship between Rachel and Billy and I can confirm Shay will be making her debut in the next chapter which will be from Paul's perspective and will (SPOILER) see more of his headspace and their first meeting.**

 **There are seven chapters left and then this story is done.**

 **Disclaimer-Nothing but Shay is mine,**

 **Please Read and Review.**

* * *

I Would For You

Paul/Rachel Fanfiction-When Rachel Black left La Push nearly four years ago to go to college she was carrying a secret. When she returns to pick up the pieces in the aftermath of her brother's disappearance she has no idea of what fate has in store for her and the effect it has on her life.

Chapter 13-Perfect Little Accident

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Rachel's Point of View

I still hadn't moved of the porch after Paul had disappeared. It was like I wasn't able to. It was like I was numb, a frozen little statue. In all honestly telling him about Shay had gone as well as I had expected it too. Better in all honesty because I had never expected to survive the damn thing. I had thought that Paul would lose control but he had calmly walked away before he had become the huge hulking wolf that had dominated my dreams ever since I'd known the huge secret.

My father had been torn between tenderness whenever he came into contact with his only grandchild and fury when he'd found out. He had managed to control his anger pretty well. Jacob had been thrilled. He had been pissed, but after a beer had gotten on well with his niece and it was him that night that had tucked Shay into bed and read from Harry Potter.

"You have to tell the father" he said flatly.

"Paul" I said once Jacob had left the room. My Dad stared at me for a brief second before he closed his eyes and then opened them a little as if he was struggling what to say.

"Did he force you?" he asked simply.

"No" I said loudly.

"So that was the night before...you left?" he asked simply. I nodded.

"Ok" my Dad said as if he was thinking about what next to say.

"Why didn't you come to me?" he asked quietly. "Why didn't you tell me that you were pregnant? I would have kept your secrets, I wouldn't have told Paul at least not until you were ready, I would have done whatever you asked me to do and I could have flown up to see you in Hawaii with your sister or wherever you were living?"

I paused, never had I considered that my father. The good honest pillar of the community, the man who could trace his relations back to the start of our community was sitting in front of me saying he would have lied through his teeth when it had come to keeping my secret even from the very man who would once my brother had transformed at some point I imagine had ate in this very house.

How was my father supposed to do that?

Something in my face must have resonated with my father because something passed across his face so quick that I almost didn't see it. Then his face crumpled.

"Jesus, Rachel" he said finally. "Did you really think I would turn you away?"

I paused. I didn't think that about that, to be honest I had thought that my father wouldn't have done any of the above. And maybe that showed on his face. Or my face. Either way he got the turn of my opinion quicker than I expected.

"God Rachel" he said finally watching me. "Do you really think that low of me? Does your sister? Was I really that bad of a father that you thought your only option was to lie about the birth of my first grandchild?"

I stared at him. There was too much history between me and my father. I had to admit that my relationship with him was nothing compared to the relationship I had had with my mother. Rebecca had been my father's little princess and Jacob had been his boy through and through and I had never been sure of the place that I had had within his life. I had been too much my Mom's child and while Jacob had clung to my father after her death and Rebecca ensured that we were being fed, I had gone back to school and buried my head in books. I had never really had time to do the conversation thing with my family especially my father and I could never decide what to do when I had realised I was pregnant. My father was the pillar of the community that was still dominated by small talk and I was at the end of the day an unmarried mother barely out of High School and (though I didn't know it then) the father would have control issues with his anger for the next five years and probably after that. How the hell was I supposed to ask or go to my father and risk his infamous judgemental look of disappointment?

Maybe this showed on my face. Actually it probably did because I knew from the look on his face and the way that his own seemed to crumple. He wheeled away and left me sat in the room. I couldn't feel sad, I had to tell Paul and that was when the trouble really started.

After Paul had ran to the forest turning into the wolf I knew him to be I sat on the stoop for a long time.

* * *

"Shay's up" Jacob said sitting next to me. "She's in the kitchen and Dad's making pancakes, the banana ones he used to make all the time when we were kids do you remember?"

I nodded. I did remember. That was the food he had made us the day of our mother's funeral. I remembered his hands shaking as he cracked the eggs.

"Paul didn't kill you then?" he said cheerfully and I managed to crack a small smile.

"Would you have stopped him?" I asked. Jacob had been the one person that I hadn't known about their reaction. Jacob shot me a look that made me smile. My little brother was back and kicking.

"Of course I would" he said grinning. His grin fell. "Rach why didn't you come and tell me? I get Becks but come on? I hated Paul, I would have lied"

"Even when you share each other's minds?" I asked dryly. Jacob paused and then shrugged. "I never thought about you" he said finally. "It was Bella, I told Sam you were coming home in person"

I shrugged again. "Rach" Jake whispered suddenly looking scared. "Paul didn't force you did he? I mean, I watched Law and Order last night and..."

I stared at him in disbelief.

"No" I said finally "And stop watching Law and Order"

Jacob laughed once a short bark of a laugh.

"Hey tomorrow why don't you take Shay to meet Renesmee. She's growing a lot, she's about Shay's age and I think that she would love a friend. And Shay will as well" he caught my expression. "Don't worry I'll be there and it gives you some time to go find Paul and...talk..."

"You don't think he'll be back tonight?" I asked feeling pathetic. Jacob shook his head. "His mind's gonna be all over the place and therefore I think that Sam will probably make him take some time before he comes back" he shrugged "That's what I do if I was his Alpha and Sam's an insane stickler for temper and safety so I don't see either Sam or Paul putting you or Shay in danger anytime soon"

I nodded once.

"I'm sorry" I confessed "For everything"

Jacob sighed slinging his arm around me and pulling me into his side. "I know Rach" he said quietly. "I know you are"

And we sat there on the porch the two of us while my Dad stayed inside the house cooking pancakes for mine and Paul, perfect little accident.

* * *

 **Let me know what you think.**

 **I will update as soon as I was able to. **


	14. Hope For The Hopeless

**Hi so here is another chapter, this leads up to the next one which will finally see our little family of three meet probably for the first time and will be of course from Rachel's point of view.**

 **Disclaimer-Only Shay, the seven little wolves and their imprints who will also all make an appearance soon.**

 **Please Read and Review.**

* * *

I Would For You

Paul/Rachel Fanfiction-When Rachel Black left La Push nearly four years ago to go to college she was carrying a secret. When she returns to pick up the pieces in the aftermath of her brother's disappearance she has no idea of what fate has in store for her and the effect it has on her life.

Chapter 14-Hope For The Hopeless

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Paul's Point of View.

How long I was in my wolf form I didn't know. However long it was it was enough for nearly everyone to manage to hear the news about my child. God I had werewolves popping in and out of my head for the last three hours and the alternative was changing back to human form. I'd managed to salvage my pants and stole a shirt from a hanging clothes line and finally thought through all that had happened in the last few hours.

So Rachel had gotten pregnant. That explained so much and yet there was so much unexplained. There was the fact that I was a father, there was the fact that Rachel had lied to me for five years and there was the unchangeable fact that no matter what imprint or no imprint I would never stop loving her.

She was Rachel Black. How could any man stop loving her? She had hurt me but had I forced her into this? I had been the one that had left, that had stayed away for weeks before she had left town our baby growing in her belly. I had been the one that had ignored her phone calls and ignored her whenever I'd seen her.

And there was a child.

A baby.

Hell a five year old.

I buried my head in my knees and remembered how to breathe. So I was a father. And God knows I was going to be the best. I wasn't going to be like my father who was an absentee at best and cruel at his worst. I wasn't going to let my child grow up in an environment that I had done and if that meant ditching La Push, ditching the pack and going back to Hawaii then I would do that.

I walked around a little bit in the forest thinking hard. With my kid came Rachel and I wasn't arrogant enough to believe for even a second the entire thing was her fault. There was misunderstandings after misunderstandings and we had both screwed up. If I had gone back to Rachel that day after I had forced myself to change back I could have imprinted on her and then she could have gone off to Washington and we would have worked something out.

But would I have been safe enough to be around a crying baby? Would I become another Sam? Hell I had a temper it ran in the family, would I snap one day and hurt Rachel? Hurt my baby? The thought alone made me feel sick my hands shaking desperate to change, the wolf howling to protect.

I swore turning around and walking back through the bushes pacing up and down my bare feet almost sinking into the mud and the branches cutting at my ankles. I bit my lip. I had to think hard, the entirety of what came next was based on this decision.

I wanted to be a father, I wanted Rachel, and in hindsight looking back I was prepared to forgive. I wasn't the most stable of influences after I had transformed and I wasn't the most stable of wolves even know. But I had survived nearly three wars with the vampires and I finally had the time to make the decisions. I would have found out about this eventually. If I had gone to Hawaii. And Rachel if I remembered rightly would have told me that night had Jackson not turned up.

I stopped pacing and thought carefully. I wanted to do the right thing and I wanted to be happy and I couldn't see a way I could do that without Rachel in my life. I wanted to be a father and be in Rachel's life and the only way I could do that was to forgive.

Forgive.

Shit.

I started pacing again.

It was another three hours before I made my decision and even then it was so half-assed that I knew that with one fell swoop it would all come crashing down. But to hell with it.

I was going to go back to La Push. I was going to go knock on the door of Rachel's home and ask her to see my child. I was going to go and be a good father and if there was a relationship with Rachel to be had (and my wolf lifted his head and nodded his approval at that thought) then I had to try it. There was far too much shit between the two of us for us to not try and I would be damned if I let a mistake that happened five years ago when we were kids define us. God knows we were just as culpable as the other.

 **'** **Nice to see the mature side of you coming through'** came Jared's voice in my head. I shook my head my ears pricking down as I ran in wolf form back the way I had come.

 **'** **Oh by the way'** Jared said casually **'Another one of the little wolves have bit the dust...imprinting'** he said and I knew without seeing him that he was rolling his eyes.

 **'** **Which one?'** I asked in interest.

 **'** **Rory'** he said casually. **'Keaton's torn between hysteria over his best friend imprinting and irritable that someone is going to get in the way of their undying friendship. Kinda reminds me of me and you when we were young and stupid'**

I snorted. **'We were never that young and stupid. And hell, we are young'**

Jared snorted in my head and I rolled my eyes, Rachel's face in my mind.

 **'** **She saw him transform'** he said finally. **'She was out taking a run and he followed her and then when she freaked he freaked and then it was up to Colin and Brady to calm him down and then she fainted and then it was one shit storm after another'**

I sighed. It happened. None of the imprinting had gone smoothly. Sam had scared Emily. Kim had slapped Jared (and I had laughed...a lot), Jacob had imprinted on a half vampire daughter of the woman he had once loved and Quill had imprinted on a toddler. Even without mine and Rachel's bond the reason I had run away was clear to everyone. In fact the only person who seemed to have a normal bond was Jamie and Morag who were dancing around each other like two twelve year olds could.

 **'** **Damn, no damage? Physically?'** I asked. Both Jared and I had been Sam's second in commands for a long time and we knew how everything worked, we knew how to control everything.

 **'** **No, he's shook up and the girl fainted but Colin took her back to Emily and after a good cry and a cup of cocoa and I think a small shot of brandy mixed in she calmed down long enough to hear the story. She's a sweet kid. Name's Ella'**

I nodded accepting this bond into the pack as well. We always seemed to grow.

 **'** **You seen...'** I asked letting it slide. Jared sighed he knew who I meant, he knew both of them. **'Kinda, she's around. Rachel. Emily went to see her and your kid, you know what Emily's like she's so accepting of everything. She took Ella and Morag under her wing and she likes your daughter as well'**

I skidded nearly crashing into a tree.

 **'** **A daughter?'** I asked my voice going slightly higher. Jared swore. **'Yeah, I asked. It's a girl, all dark hair and dark eyes according to Kim and a huge fan of Harry Potter...'** he dithered. **'You wanna know her name?'**

I let out a roar. Jared flinched.

 **'** **Jesus man ok...her name's Shay Black though if you wanted to you could get the last name changed'**

I nodded more to myself than anything. I was five minutes away at a good sprint.

Jared rolled his eyes and then pulled out of my head. I stopped at the edge of the wood and yanked my shorts and shirt over my head and lower body. There was smoke coming out of the chimney and I knew that at least someone was home.

I knocked on the door.

It took a second before someone could open it and then I was forced to look down as the breath got caught in my throat and I had to choke down whatever it was in my throat.

It was a child, a small five year old nearing six and she was looking up at me with big brown eyes, my eyes. Her hair was scraped into a plat that showed off her tiny ears and pointed chin, she was wearing leggings and a jumper with the Hogwarts crest on it.

It was my daughter standing their looking at me.

"Hi" I said finally working my throat forcibly.

"Hi" she said in her perfect crystal clear voice.

"Shay I told you about the door..." said a voice, Rachel's voice. She trailed of when she saw who it was and her skin went several shades lighter. Her hair was loose and she was in loose flannel pants and a heavy grey jumper. She paused looking at me and I swallowed again because God this woman was beautiful.

"Hi" I said staring at her and then I smiled, Shay between the both of us and the tension wasn't as tough as It had been the day before it was warm and filled with the promise of something knew.

"Hi" she said back and this time her eyes were warm.

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 **And I will update as soon as I can. **


	15. Pictures On The Fridge

**Hi, so here is another chapter two in one update. This is very short I will warn you but the chapters do develop as they are written and the next one will be longer I promise you that.**

 **I am going back to school so therefore updates might be a bit slower however I can reveal there are only five more chapters in the story before this is finished.**

 **Disclaimer-Nothing is mine just Shay.**

 **Please read and review.**

* * *

I Would For You

Paul/Rachel Fanfiction-When Rachel Black left La Push nearly four years ago to go to college she was carrying a secret. When she returns to pick up the pieces in the aftermath of her brother's disappearance she has no idea of what fate has in store for her and the effect it has on her life.

Chapter 15-Pictures On The Fridge

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Rachel's Point of View

Paul was stood there looking at me with wide eyes and I stared back. Shay was stood between us and it was like we couldn't keep our eyes off each other. I smiled and he smiled back. It wasn't a warm smile not the one I liked to see on his face but it was a start.

"Shay" I said finally breaking the silence that was stretching out endlessly between the two of us. "I'd like you to meet..." I stumbled on the words. How the hell was I supposed to proceed? Was I to call Paul, Shay's father and admit the truth to her while she was standing here looking between the two of us before her then what would happen? I couldn't ask Paul to lie again if I had any hope of salvaging a relationship with him even if it was just to be civil.

"Paul" he said picking up the prompt beautifully. Paul dropped to a crouch holding out a hand for Shay to shake. "I'm a friend of your Mom's" he said and I let out a small sigh of relief. So there would be no more awkward questions on my father's doorstep. Well. That was some kind of a relief.

I swallowed down the bile that was in my throat by opening the door a little bit wider. Shay turned to look at Paul her eyes wide.

"Hello Paul" she said in her clear voice the way I had taught her to speak and I saw Paul's eyes close for the briefest of seconds as he took in his daughter for the first time in nearly six years. "My name is Shay" she took his big hand in her little one and shook it.

"Nice to meet you Shay" Paul said softly his eyes when feasting on his daughter so very brown and warm. "I hear from your Uncle Jacob that you like Harry Potter?"

Shay visibly brightened. "Uh huh" she said nodding her head. "I've watched the first two movies and read the first two books but Momma won't let me skip ahead" she shook her head as if the fact that I wasn't willing to let her skip ahead when it came to books verses movies was something Paul should be concerned about.

Paul mimed looking shocked. "I think you'll find" he said solemnly "That waiting till you finish the second book there'll be a lot of surprises when it comes to the third and forth"

Shay and I blinked in surprise. I swallowed again while Shay eyed Paul with brown eyes framed with lashes. "Ok" she said finally her voice small vibrating against the woodwork. "I guess you can stay"

"Shay" I said warningly but Shay had already disappeared inside. I watched her go before turning to Paul moving so that he couldn't get inside until he looked me in my eyes.

"Are you under control?" I whispered. Paul meet my glance eye to eye. "Yes" he muttered finally. I nodded and then moved my arm to let him into the house. He paused looking at me long and hard and then slid past me, his hands burning my waist.

"I will tell her" I muttered "Just let me choose the time and the place"

"You had six years to do that" Paul muttered and I grabbed his arm keeping him in the hallway. "Don't" I warned finding my fire curling in my belly. "You go in there and tell her you're her father and you break her heart"

"And whose fault was that?" Paul demanded running his hand through his hair. "Rach" he said finally. "I would have come and helped you, I would have been there for you. Why didn't you ring me? Why didn't you let me be there, ok I get I had a temper and I get..." his face twisted suddenly. "I get the fact that I left you in my bed and didn't come back but...i would have been a great Dad"

I nodded swallowing back a combination of both tears and irritation my head was beginning to throb.

"I don't doubt it" I said shrugging "I don't have excuses Paul if I did I'd have given them to you already all I know is that I wanted my baby and that at the time I was hurt so badly I didn't want you. I suppose that makes me a whore or a bitch or whatever you want to say I am, so that you can justify my actions I don't care but the one thing I do care about is our little girl in the next room and if you go in that room and destroy her world then I will personally kick you out of it"

I paused for a second before Paul looked at me a hint of sadness colouring his eyes before it was gone and replaced with that mask of indifference that had dominated him since before he became a werewolf.

"Fine" he said as if it didn't matter either way.

"So.." I said finally the two of us standing there at a stalemate. I swallowed trying not to notice that Paul was watching the track of my throat as the saliva trickled down it.

"I wanna be in her life Rach" he said finally his voice soft. "You don't get to make the decisions all by yourself anymore." I stared at him. I'm not sure what my face was showing but I knew the tone of my voice to be incredulous.

"And you think you can stick around? Keep the temper under control?" I elaborated. "It was all right when it was just you and me and I could survive my face being ripped off but it's different now. I have to tell Shay on my own terms, I don't want you to tell her." I was laying my demands on the counter for all to see and it was up to Paul to decide weather or not to take them.

"Ok" he said finally.

"Paul" said a small voice. It was Shay and I watched as Paul half jumped to attention when he saw her. "Yeah?" he asked gently and Shay passed him a picture she had obviously just drawn. "For you" she said and Paul took it.

"Thank you" he said softly and was touched by the level of tenderness he displayed. Shay nodded and disappeared off again.

"I'm sorry" I said my voice raw but Paul had already stood up and with a flash had pulled me flush to him his mouth on mine hot and hard like it had been the last time. For a second we were connected and I was shot through with such a wave of desire I felt my knees giving out.

But then he was gone and I was left alone standing at the door as Paul went off into the sunset the picture that my daughter, that his daughter drew still clutched in his hand.

Somehow I had a feeling that not all the secrets were out there in the open yet.

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 **And let me know what you think. **


	16. A Bond Not Broken

**Hi here is another chapter, final three chapters are in the works and coming up soon.**

 **Let me know what you think.**

 **Disclaimer-Nothing is mine.**

 **Please Read and Review.**

* * *

I Would For You

Paul/Rachel Fanfiction: When Rachel Black left La Push nearly four years ago to go to college she was carrying a secret. When she returns to help pick up the pieces in the aftermath of her brother's disappearance she has no idea of what fate has in store for her and the effect it has on her life

Chapter 16-A Bond Not Broken

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Paul's Point of View.

The following weeks had gotten...well...liveable at most. When I wasn't working with Sam or trying to train another little wolf (who seemed to be either imprinting or running like mad over the course of the next couple of weeks) with another wolf Andrew coming home to tell Sam that he had looked at a girl in the library.

Andrew at least had told this girl that Sam could explain things better than he could and had dragged her into the room one morning as we were finishing our breakfast.

"There" he said pointing at Sam "Sam can explain about the legends"

"Luna" said Ella to the new girl who she obviously knew from school. "Sit down, and don't freak until the end"

Unable to deal with another imprinting drama that wasn't my own I said my goodbyes to Sam and disappeared taking the long way back to my house.

My relationship with Shay was...small at best...she was utterly adorable, a five year old that was so Rachel it was uncanny. I could blame Rachel for a lot of things but not our daughter.

God, our daughter. That still didn't feel real.

I had taken to spending afternoons over there after Shay had got home from her new school and sometimes for dinner. Billy was either over at Sue's or over with Quill's grandfather. While the conversation was always friendly and the topics were always safe the conversation was still thick at least on the parts of me and Rachel thick with tension.

The previous night I had been round had been the first time that I had stayed longer than dinner. Shay had gone upstairs to clean her teeth before bed and Rachel had asked quietly if I wanted a drink. "If you do" she said quietly "I'm afraid it's only wine"

"That's fine" I said carefully as she moved back inside the house coming back with two glasses of red.

"She's..."I struggled to come up with the words "Amazing?" Rachel asked guessing what I was trying to say. I nodded smiling shyly. I had never been shy but I had to admit whenever I was around Rachel she made me feel like that same stupid kid that had fallen in love and had never fallen out of it.

I had to admit she had done a brilliant job and when I was drunk one night after a dinner and I was lying in my bed I had to admit that she had done a better job alone than I knew in my darkest moments I could have ever have done by being in the picture.

That night carried on like normal. For once me and Rachel were managing a relationship and a conversation as if were estranged parents which I suppose for all intents and purposes we were. I wanted to be more and I wasn't blind to the fact that I knew she wanted more to but there was always and would always be something in the way. Even if we told Shay the truth and yeah I counted myself as part of that conversation there would always be the fact that for five years Shay probably thought I was the deadbeat that had never wanted her when nothing could be further than the truth.

I hadn't even realised that we were curled up outside together until Rachel fell asleep on my shoulder her head heavy, her scent overpowering. The wolf and the man were both congratulating me and suddenly a year and three months' worth of lack of sleep was catching up with me with a vengeance and I was nodding off leaning my head back and letting hers fall into my lap.

It was much later when Billy woke us up half amused, half irritated and smelling strongly like whiskey which I took to be what he and Old Quill were drinking.

At least I thought as Rachel blearily made her way into the house and I said my goodbyes for the night. The fucker hadn't rolled over my foot with his wheelchair.

And then the carefully constricted, carefully constructed walls that I had been removing brick by brick came tumbling down around both mine and Rachel's ankles.

And like so many instances in the past (or so I thought) it was all down to Jacob Black.

* * *

I had been late on patrol and therefore unable to make my usual twice a week dinner plans with Rachel. I was irritated by this because for once she had agreed to sit down with me and seriously plan how we were going to tell Shay that I was her father.

I was ready to do this and I knew that it was something I desperately wanted.

More than anything.

I had just showered and I was in the process of finding something microwavable for dinner when there was a knock at the door. Confused I went to open it. While I knew most of the wolves would have gone home for the night it wasn't unusual for one of the younger ones to worry about losing control around their family, then panic and then come to an older wolf to crash on the couch.

What I saw when I opened the door blew my breath away.

It was Shay.

She was wearing pyjama's and boots and was shivering slightly with the wind and she was holding a plastic Harry Potter wand that was pointed at me.

"Hi" I said taking a second to appreciate the cuteness of what was in front of me before the truth sunk in and I realised that my five year old was on my porch in the dead of night, shaking like a leaf and eyeing me distrustfully.

"Jesus" I said opening my door and practically throwing Shay inside. I locked it and bent down to her level. "Is something wrong?" a thought hit me then. "Is it your Momma?"

"No" Shay said in her clear high voice.

"It's you"

"Me?" I blinked.

"You" Shay said clearly.

"Hot chocolate?" I said eyeing her shivers.

"Sure Dad" she said causally.

I froze on the spot. First and foremost the word Dad coming from her mouth made me want to cry with how perfect it sounded. I got a second or too to savour that feeling before my brain registered what she had just said and I turned around to face my daughter something inside me going a little cold when I saw her expression.

This is why Rachel should have been with me. Or why I should have been informed from the start. This moment right here. And there was no way in hell I was gonna lie about it. I didn't have it in me to lie about something like this.

"Yeah" I said not really understanding what I was saying. "I suppose you wanna talk" I eyed the stick of plastic that was her wand. I suppose she could always jab me in the eye with it.

"You can put that down, no dark wizards here I promise" I said and after a seconds hesitation Shay let her arm fall limply to the side and then she was moving past me and into the kitchen taking a seat at the table like she belonged. It made my heart ache.

Oh god this was going to be a long night.

"I suppose the first question is how you know" I asked. I had a feeling that if I tried to treat Shay, at least when it came to this issue like the five year old she was she wouldn't react very well and I would make things worse.

"Uncle Jacob" Shay said folding her hands neatly together. "I overheard him and Momma talking before I went to bed, he says that she and you need to get your act together and tell me that you were my father so he and Grandpa could stop walking around eggshells"

I made a mental note to kill Jacob Black in the most painful way imaginable as soon as this conversation was over. All of the barely talked through plans that Rachel and I had were now shot to shit as were so many things by her brother.

"Milk?" I asked after carefully checking the fridge. I had milk which was a good thing considering and after watching me for a brief second Shay nodded her head. I poured her a small glass and slid it across the table towards her.

"I'm gonna have to ring your Mom" I said finally. Shay stared at me again and it was the most unnerving thing I had ever seen. "Why didn't she tell you about me?"

I blinked. God had she really listened to all of the conversation that the idiot Jacob must have had with his brilliant sister.

"I wasn't...really ready to be a Dad" I said lamely. There was some truth to the matter and I knew it. I didn't want to sit down and tell my kid about the wolves prowling the forest or her father being one of them, I didn't want to scare her. "There was some stuff that you don't understand that happened before you were born and your Mom and me..."

Shay was watching but I could see her eyelids were dropping. Traipsing through the woods in the dead of night might have been very adventures for my Harry Potter loving kid but I could tell that it had tired her out.

"Do you love me?" she asked quietly and for a spilt second I believed something inside of me broke.

"Yes" I said softly speaking the truth.

"Very much"

"Do you love Momma?" she asked quietly again and I swallowed hard as I thought about the answer.

"Yes" I said finally. And this too was the truth. "I love the both of you very much"

Shay stared at me again before taking a large gulp of milk. "Ok" she said finally. "I...i don't know how to have a Dad" she said finally. "I don't know what to do or what to call you or..." she began panicking and I leant across the table to clasp one of her small cold hands in my own.

"You don't have to do anything you don't want to" I said gently and Shay finally nodded.

Well...surely things could only get better from here.

But then again, I had to go and call Rachel.

* * *

 **Next Chapter-Rachel's Point of View.**


	17. I Want You With Me

**Hi so here is another chapter that I spat out with next to no time so I apologise if it's a rush. There are about two more chapters with this one and then this story is wrapped up.**

 **This one deals with the imprinting and the next chapter carries on with that and then we wrap it up.**

 **Disclaimer-Nothing but Shay is mine.**

 **Please read and review.**

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I Would For You

Paul/Rachel Fanfiction: When Rachel Black left La Push nearly four years ago to go to college she was carrying a secret. When she returns to help pick up the pieces in the aftermath of her brother's disappearance she has no idea of what fate has in store for her and the effect it has on her life. Mature Themes, Please Read and Review.

Chapter 17-I Want You With Me

Rachel's Point of View.

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So the truth was out. And I was going to find a way to kill my brother slowly and painfully for doing the one thing (if by accident) I had told him not to do. If I had the balls to tell Shay I would have made damn sure she wasn't stood at the top of the stairs desperate for some warm milk. Also I would make damn sure she didn't leave the house as that phone call from Paul had put about ten years on me and not in a good way.

Shay for the most part had settled into having Paul in her life with an ease that frightened me and clearly shocked him. He knew that the relationship was fragile and she knew that he was gonna be there no matter what. Paul I knew told her twice a day.

But I didn't want to move matters forward at least from a legal perspective until I had my daughter's approval. She might be five and I might be her mother but I wanted Shay's approval before I pushed anything through and that damn well included putting Paul on the birth certificate.

First I had one more secret to tell him. I had to tell Paul that my car accident when I was pregnant with Shay had severely diminished my chances of having children. If he wanted a future with me, and I wasn't arrogant enough to believe automatically that he did then I was going to be honest with him.

Besides. If I was being completely honest with myself I didn't want another child. Not only was Shay more than enough for me to be happy but I didn't like the wolf gene. I didn't like the idea of passing something that explosive down my family line, and Shay...she had the gene on both sides with my family and Paul's even though Paul's was a lesser connection to the original wolves. While I loved my daughter and despite everything loved her father I didn't want to risk my own health and the health of my unborn child any further.

That left me with a problem.

Because while my biggest cards were on the table that I still couldn't help the fact that I knew Paul was hiding something. I knew it because I knew him. There was something other than the fact that I had hid the fact that he had a child and other than the fact he had told me after the fact that he was a shapeshifting Werewolf there was still something for each of us smouldering on the table, another wound that was in danger of being poked and prodded and another scab that was in desperate need to get picked.

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Such was the case one Friday when a text message from my brother told me that he would pick Shay up at school. What the idiot failed to text me with, (or at least until I was home and in a house that was soundproof to imploding) was that he had stopped off at Nessie Cullen's house and that now apparently she and Shay were sat on the Cullen's couch drinking hot chocolate and eating Esme Cullen's oatmeal cookies and watching Harry Potter on the TV.

And ok. I knew that the Cullen's were supposedly the good guys of the vampire world and what little I did know about it but I had to admit the thought of my child sitting in a room filled with people that I knew could kill her without even breaking pace made me get straight back in my car and head straight for the Cullen residence that was as huge and wide spaced as I thought it had looked like on the pictures that Jacob had shown me.

Edward Cullen...well I assumed it was Edward opened the door for me. If my memory served correctly he was the one Jacob had told me was the mind reader and he let me in with a polite "Hello" before pointing down the corridor. "The girls are in the living room" he said offering me the way first. If the guy wasn't happily married I would have to admit that he would make a lot of woman go fluttery at him. The small smirk on his face at that comment showed me that yes he was the mind reader and that he found my views funny at best.

Shay was curled on the couch next to a younger girl I assumed was the half vampire baby. She didn't look like a baby. She looked about Shay's age with masses of dark hair and dark eyes. She didn't look like she could kill someone without even trying she looked just like an average child and I felt something inside me stir at the thought that my own town had tried to kill this girl while she was still in her mother's womb ending two lives. I sent a look at Edward Cullen and by the way his eyes met mine I knew he got my silent apology and accepted it without hesitation.

Jacob was sat on the chair near the window playing with his phone while Shay and Nessie Cullen were sat in their school uniforms watching with open mouths the trapdoor scenes of the first Harry Potter.

"Hey Momma" Shay said without taking her eyes of the screen. "This is Nessie" I smiled and waved a little but the half vampire girl was watching the screen with a look of deep interest.

"Harry Potter fan?" I asked Edward Cullen who rolled his eyes and shook his head. "I remember" he said finally. "When they first came out. My brother Emmett locked himself in a room for three days when he got all seven books and then again with the eight films and by the end of it broke all the furniture" he shook his head.

I smiled unsure of what the hell I was supposed to say to that.

"Drink?" Edward Cullen asked and I shook my head. "No" I said finally bending down to tuck Shay out from under the blankets she was in. "We should get going"

"Stay till the end" Jake said watching me. "Nobody's gonna bite"

I did indeed stay to until the end of the movie if only to stop seeing the baby Cullen's eyes on me whenever she thought I wasn't looking.

I had just gone to the Cullen's bathroom to freshen up while Jacob got Shay into the car when I left the room to see Renesmee Cullen's eyes on me again.

"Hi" I said finally. She tilted her head to the side and then opened her mouth. "Are you like me?" she said quietly.

"Excuse me?" I asked bending down her level. "You and Paul" she said quietly. "It's like me and Jacob isn't it"

I stared at her. "Sweetheart what do you mean?"

She shook her head. "You and Paul, your imprints" she said looking confused. "I've met Emily once but you're the first...there's you and Emily and Kim and..." she shrugged again.

I paused but before I could blink Edward Cullen was there. "Nessie leave Rachel alone" he said and Renesmee turned around and ran off without even saying a goodbye.

"Sorry" Edward Cullen said quietly and I shrugged feeling and knowing that he knew that I was lying about what had just happened. His daughter had given me a bit of insight into the world that she saw through those dark eyes and I was now desperate to know what she had said about this 'Imprinting' thing and I knew that there was no way in hell I would be asking my brother about it.

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When I got back to my house Paul was already waiting there for us. "Hey" Shay said getting all shy like she did when she was around her father. "Hey" Paul said in his deep voice but there was something about the slight curl of his mouth that worried me.

"Hey" I said running my hand through Shay's hair. "Go and get changed babe" I said and she ran instantly up the stairs.

"Where have you been?" Paul asked looking at me. "You smell like...vampire..."

"Yeah" I said reaching for the bottle of wine and pouring myself a glass of red. I took a sip and then placed it on the table taking a deep breath. "We went to the Cullen's house and Shay and Renesmee watched a movie" I looked up to see Paul's hands convulse and then close into fists as the tremors shook his hand.

"Paul" I said finally. "I'm gonna ask you something and I need you to remain calm"

"Ok" Paul said after several moments.

"What's imprinting?"

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 **And let me know what you think. **


	18. Double Edged Truth

**Hi so here is another chapter, i apologise for the lateness but we do cover one of the more important topics in this chapter so enjoy...**

 **Only a couple of chapters left and then this story is wrapped up.**

 **Disclaimer-Nothing is mine just Shay, the seven little wolves and the imprints mentioned below.**

 **Please Read and Review.**

* * *

I Would For You

Paul/Rachel Fanfiction: When Rachel Black left La Push nearly four years ago to go to college, she was carrying a secret. When she returns to help pick up the pieces in the aftermath of her brother's disappearance, she has no idea of what fate has in store for her and the effect it has on her life. Mature Themes, Please Read and Review.

Chapter 18-Double Edged Truth

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Paul's Point of View

I froze. There was a roaring in my ears that I couldn't hear over the litany of swear words running through my mind. I hadn't planned for this conversation at all.

Well that was a lie, I had, it just hadn't involved dealing with the sleeping child upstairs at the time. All of the conversations I had imagined when it had come to this had been off me and Rachel sitting down and talking like two mature adults not like two parents who were overly emotional at best. Hell I had no idea what Shay would say if she found out I was dating her Mom.

But that was being presumptuous.

First I had to get to that part.

"Imprinting is a wolf thing" I said finally.

The look on Rachel's face told me she had surmised as much for herself. I swallowed.

"It's…" oh to hell with it. "It's like when you find your soul mate, when a wolf, like me, Sam, Jared, Quill, Jake, Andrew, Rory, Jamie" I listed the names of the wolves. "You look at this person and….and they make you complete" I finished softly.

"Jesus Christ" Rachel said finally reaching for the first alcoholic bottle I could find. She didn't throw it at me, so I supposed I was doing ok.

"Yeah" I said shortly.

"Sam and Emily" Rachel said finally looking at me her dark eyes wide with understanding. "He loved Leah, he would have never left her without a reason and certainly not for her best friend, not for family" I nodded.

"Jared imprinted on Kim three weeks later" I confessed. "She was just this girl that sat next to him and one day he looked up and there she was…"

Rachel sat down at the table looking confused.

"Jamie" I ploughed on deciding it would be best to leave out the bombshells that were Claire and Nessie Cullen for the time being, "Imprinted on a girl, Morag in the cafeteria. She just opened the door and he looked up…good thing Seth managed to get him out before he could do any more damage, Rory imprinted on Ella while she was out taking a run, she decked him and then fainted when he transformed so he freaked out that was right around the time Shay…" I gestured and Rachel nodded.

"And then there was Andrew, he met Luna at the library, just dragged her back to Sam and got him to explain everything" the sad thing was Luna at the tender age of eleven had taken the news better than the rest of the 'Pack Girls' (named by Ella) combined.

Rachel rubbed her hand over her face.

"Jake" she said finally. "It's Bella's girl isn't it?"

I was so shocked she figured it out that I just nodded.

"Edward Cullen" I ploughed on before she could jump to any conclusions. "Wouldn't let your brother around unless his thoughts were anything less than perfectly perfect. Jake thinks of her as a sister right now and when she's older and legal there'll take it from there"

Rachel carefully considered that.

"And…Bella…she's alright with this?"

"She tried to kill him when she found out" I said bluntly referring to what was commonly known as Bella Swan's best moment. "But now she seems ok with it, we had a problem a year ok and Jake really stepped up"

Yeah, that was one way to describe certain and imamate death all right.

"And Quill?"

"Much the same thing…Claire she's…err…turning four this year"

Rachel's reaction was much as I had expected.

She spat a mouthful of her drink across the room spluttering. I knew enough to know not to touch her when she got like this so I let her swear a blue streak a mile long and tried not to fall even more in love with her while she did it.

"Four" she gasped when she was done. "I mean, Nessie….Jake told me that she ages quicker than most and will be mature in what a few years? Nevertheless, four? How…how the hell does Quill get away with it?"

"He doesn't…" oh, I knew this was going to be awkward. Trust Quill to be difficult. "Rach it's like how it is with Jacob he doesn't see Claire as anything but some kid that he plays with. He is like a devoted big brother and nothing more. Jesus the kids' Emily's niece do you really think Sam would let him live if there was any other thoughts in his head? Do you think the Cullen's would let Jacob? It is how it is for the younger three as well they consider their imprints friends, hell I don't think they've done anything more than smile at each other and the occasional hand hold. This is not something sick and twisted. Hell maybe Claire and Quill would have found each other eventually. God knows he's not gonna get any younger"

"Are you?" Rachel asked watching me carefully. I paused. God yeah I did. I wanted to grow old with Rachel and Shay and start a family with her. I wanted to be normal.

"Yeah" I said finally. "It's gonna take some time. I don't pretend to be an expert on it. I do have a temper but…." I gestured between the two of us.

Something in Rachel's expression seemed to solidify.

"Who's yours then?"

"What?" I blinked.

"You said you had also imprinted. Who's yours?"

She was kidding right.

"Your shitting me right?" I asked bluntly. Rachel shot me a withering look.

"You" I said finally. Rachel blinked and I realised that she had truly not been expecting it to be her. Silly girl, I thought fondly. As if there had been anyone else. Ever.

"God Rach, it has always been you, even before the imprint and the wolves and the vampires, before Shay, during Shay, after Shay. God I have been in love with since I was fourteen, probably before that"

Rachel was still watching me before she ducked her head down her hair hiding her face. Nevertheless, not before I saw the small smile grace her features.

"Hey" I said standing in front of her and lifting her hair back so I could see her face. "No more secrets"

Rachel's eyes searched my face carefully.

"I can't have any more children," she said finally. "Those scars. There from the C-Section I had when I was pregnant with Shay. I was in an accident when I was seven months or so along and a piece of glass…" she touched the piece of skin hidden by her jumper and my eyes followed her.

"It makes conceiving and carrying to term, complicated" she said her tone taking on a mocking brutal edge "I could do it but the chances of a baby brought to term" she shrugged her voice trailing into the distance as I realised what that meant.

It was a blow. I had missed a lot with Shay and while I still had a lot to move forward I could not help but miss the moments like her first smile, word, first steps and so forth. I did not want to dwell on the past but I still had held out hope that more children were on the horizon.

Nevertheless, this was Rachel Black and this was my daughter and I could be happy with that. Hell, I was happy with that.

I would always be happy with that.

"Don't say you don't care" Rachel said shaking her head. I shook my head in response. "I do," I said finally. "But it's you and Shay and me and if that's it then I don't care, not really. I would be with you over anyone who could give me twelve children. I told you, even before the transformation that it was you"

Rachel stared for a long time her face as blank as marble before her face broke into a smile. It was the real one this time, the one I had fallen in love with all those years ago, the one I would never stop looking for.

"Ok then" she said curling one hand around my neck and the other one in my hair pulling me so our hips were bumping against each other. "I love you," she said finally and I laughed at the words that I had waited a damn long time to hear.

"I love you too," I said finally. There was a second where we both just stood there and then Rachel giggled. "I didn't see it ending like this," she said finally. "I'm your goddamn soulmate"

"Yeah" I said finally "But I'm still gonna choose to believe that my wolf was confirming what the man already knew"

Rachel rolled her eyes.

"Of course you are," she said grinning.

"So what do we do now?" she said finally. I stared at her and then thought of the empty bed in my thankfully empty house. I thought of Billy and Shay asleep upstairs completely unaware of what had just taken place between the two of us.

"My place" I said grinning.

"You drive" Rachel said grinning back.

And when we left that house we were both holding hands for the first time in a long time.

And I felt complete.

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 **And let me know what you think.**

 **Next Chapter as always will be in Rachel's point of view. **


	19. This Magic Moment

**Hi is another chapter, this is the penultimate chapter of this story and therefore this is the last Rachel's point of view. The next and final chapter will be from Paul's perspective.**

 **Disclaimer-Nothing is mine**

 **Please read and review.**

* * *

I Would For You

Paul/Rachel Fanfiction: When Rachel Black left La Push nearly four years ago to go to college, she was carrying a secret. When she returns to help pick up the pieces in the aftermath of her brother's disappearance, she has no idea of what fate has in store for her and the effect it has on her life. Mature Themes, Please Read and Review.

Chapter 19-This Magic Moment

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Rachel's Point of View.

The morning after the night before I woke up my head on something hard and hot. It took me a second before I realised that it was Paul that I was curled against all hard muscle and skin and that smell that made me want to fall back to sleep again.

However I woke up sitting up and stretching. The sunlight was streaming in through the window and I leaned back watching the sun hitting my naked belly, my scars red and bright in the sun. I watched the light stream upwards hitting my belly and flank and breasts warming me until I felt sleepy again.

Last night Paul had drove me back to his house and then proceeded to fuck me on the floor of the hall, the living room couch, he had then gotten halfway to the third time before he had ducked onto his knees and then proceeded to give me the best mouth work I had ever had. The finally we had gotten to the bed.

It had been a long time since I had been with him like this. The last time had been slow and we had both been caught up in our secrets at the time and the first time we had been scared kids not knowing what we were doing, just clinging to each other in the darkness.

Now we were adults.

Now we were bathed in the lights or some messy, screwy, cheesy thing that meant that that we were together. In simple terms? Yeah we were, last night had cemented whatever love Paul and I still had for each other. The four times we had made love (and for the first time in my life that was what I was calling it) had been slow and deep and had we had looked each other in the eye whenever we had done so. We had made sure that we were on the same page as clinical as it sounded. It wasn't. It had been romantic for the both of us. Me and Paul, soulmates.

And hell, soulmates. I still hadn't gotten over that.

Paul was still asleep next to me his arm splayed over my hip. I was loathe to waking him so I slipped out from under him. The only piece of clothing that I could find was his shirt and I started to creep down the stairs buttoning it up even though it only fell down to the top of my thigh.

Paul really didn't have much in in terms of food but I did find some eggs and some milk as well as some bacon and set around making omelettes and a pot of coffee. I knew my Dad while disapproving would keep my daughter occupied and therefore both Paul and I could really (although) I was loathed to admit that we needed it, have a much needed conversation.

There was a small movement from upstairs as I whipped the eggs and I turned to see Paul watching me in his boxers a faraway look in his eye. "What?" I asked turning back to the pan.

"Move in with me" he said simply.

I nearly dropped the fork.

"What?" I asked turning to face him. Paul shrugged an indulgent little smile on his face, as if he knew that was going to be my reaction and that he didn't care anyway. "Move in with me" he said again slowly and clearly.

I blinked. "You want me to move in with you?" I asked looking around the kitchen. "You and Shay yeah" Paul replied still smiling. "Look it doesn't have to be here, I don't know what we would do with here but I guess we could rent it out for the little wolves to stay whenever there on a night shift or whatever but I want the three of us living together under one roof...i think we've spent too long apart if I'm being honest"

I stared at him. Just last week we could barely speak to each other whenever the subject of moving forwards was broached. I could see it though it happening. Waking up in the morning to Paul lying next to me and making breakfast with Shay sat at the table. Her going to school and Paul reading her bedtime stories while I came in from work. Jackson and the rest of them traipsing through whenever they wanted. I didn't want that but I could see myself living a life here. It was the opposite to what I had wanted nearly six years ago but then again I wasn't the same person that I had been six years ago either. I had changed and maybe it was time to do something spontaneous again.

Hell the last time I had done something spontaneous it had gotten us in this mess in the first place. There was an entire life stretched out before me and I could either take it or refuse it.

I could jump off the cliff or stay on it.

"Don't think about it" Paul said finally. "I can practically hear you overthinking from here" he shook his head. "I don't wanna rush you but..." he paused ducking his head looking rather shy. It was so painfully young that I couldn't help but fall in love with him a little bit more.

"You are gonna stay right?" he asked finally. "I...you think she'll like it here?" he looked around the house he had been living in alone for so long and swallowed. "I know that this isn't the way you imagined living your life"

I paused considering. "It's not" I said carefully. "But that doesn't mean it couldn't be"

Paul stared at me for a long second. "Ok" he said finally sitting down at the table. "I can take what I can get in spades. Just so long as you keep wearing my clothes"

I snorted dishing up the (thankfully not burnt) food.

"I think" I said passing him a plate that he immediately started to scoff down like it was his last meal. "That we should take wait until Jacob takes Shay over to see Renesmee" I lifted my hand as Paul showed every sign of interrupting. "I know you don't like it but I do...Shay..." I paused trying to find the words. "Well she doesn't have a lot of friends even when we were living in Hawaii and she seems to like Renesmee and if this imprinting thing is true then this girl is gonna be in our lives regardless of whether or not we like it"

Paul looked as if he really wanted to argue with me but thought against it.

"Especially" I said carefully twirling my fork. "Because If we leave it until later we don't have to explain the concept of the walk of shame in front of our daughter and my father"

Paul stared at me for a second and then laughed out loud. He leaned over the table his hand interlocking with mine the fingers entangling. There was a second where we were just looking at each other and then Paul stood up and turned twisting so that he could reach his coffee pot as we carried on having breakfast as if it was the most normal thing in the world.

And for the first time in a long time, I felt utterly and completely normal.

And it was good.

This magic moment indeed.

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 **And let me know what you think and i shall try and get the final chapter posted as soon as i can. **


	20. I Would For You

**Hi so here is another chapter and the final chapter. This is short but this story became more and more difficult as it continued and I'd like to believe that I did it justice despite my frustrations.**

 **I would like to send out a BIG thank you to all of you who have read and reviewed and favourited and followed this story. This came from a torn notepad a long time ago and closing the door on this story feels like I have closed the door on something important. This story couldn't have continued without all of you and I hope you enjoy the Happy Ending.**

 **Disclaimer-Nothing but Shay is mine.**

 **Please Read and Review.**

* * *

I Would For You

Paul/Rachel Fanfiction: When Rachel Black left La Push nearly four years ago to go to college, she was carrying a secret. When she returns to help pick up the pieces in the aftermath of her brother's disappearance, she has no idea of what fate has in store for her and the effect it has on her life. Mature Themes, Please Read and Review.

Chapter 20-I Would For You

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Paul's Point of View

So I guess it was official. Sort of. After much deliberation Rachel and Shay moved into my house. Shay had looked at me over the hot chocolate I had bought her and asked me point blank if I planned to leave anytime soon.

"Absolutely not" I had answered and Shay rather satisfied with that answer after a lengthy stare nodded and promptly asked me for a cookie.

So that was that really. The reality was for a lot of the Pack things were settling down. In the months after Rachel had moved in, Kim had graduated High School, Emily and Sam had gotten married and Leah had moved away to go to school something which I think brought a great amount of peace across the Pack. Leah had always been a tough subject. While she had been a bitch to everyone and anyone nobody could deny she had the right to be and now she was away and finally getting the chance to know herself without Sam in the picture it seemed like everything was falling into place.

Things with the Cullen's had also settled down. Renesmee and Shay were good friends which pleased Jacob, Rachel and Edward Cullen who while not impressed that his daughter literacy tastes had gone from his style to Shay's, he was happy if his daughter was happy. According to Bella who had told Jacob.

I was currently gearing myself up for when one of them wanted to spend the night with the other and it looked like a fragile peace was forming even if it was through the friendship of some children.

The rest of the Pack had settled down to, the little wolves seemed to have all of their transformations under some control. The younger ones had at least one parent that knew their secret and what to do in a crisis. Embry had finally gone to Jacob's pack along with Quill both claiming that it didn't feel right in Sam's without him. They had gone with his blessing and were always welcome at Emily's house for breakfast. Though it appeared Mrs Cullen was feeding them just fine.

Jackson was constantly on the couch at my place. Things with his father had gone south and he had couch surfed for a bit until Billy finally had enough and told him to take Rachel's old room no arguments. He looked happier than he had in a long time and much to my relief his grades had begun to go up. There was a close bond between us that had come with me being the one that had helped him the first time. Sam had the same bond with me and Jared and Jared with Embry and so on. It was something that never went away and everyone respected it.

The littler wolves and their imprints had all settled down somewhat. Both Morag and Luna had allowed their wolves to move from the holding hands stage to the kissing stage much to their delight while Ella was taking longer, Emily ensured however each girl had the support of all the others and slowly but surely they were making progress. The family was expanding and still remaining together much to everyone's relief.

As for me and Rachel we were living together, taking it slow I will admit but over the course of the next couple of years we both realised we had the time. There were no more vampires or invading armies and slowly the autopilot a lot of us had been on was slowly fading, we could relax and start talking about the future in a more liberal sense rather than a dream none of us were sure we were going to live to see.

Two years ago had I envisioned that I would be waking up in bed with the woman I had fallen in love with when I was still a teenager? Had I envisioned out kid asleep in the room down the hall? No. however I had no regrets and I knew while Rachel did it wasn't about me.

While I still sometimes wanted another baby with Rachel and even Carlisle Cullen had admitted it was a possibility we had both decided (or rather I had insisted) that her health came first. The chances of carrying a child to full term with a uterus that was as damaged as Rachel's was, was slim. It was a dent in our happiness that much would grant you but I was more than happy when Shay would come in after school nine times out of ten covered in either paint or mud talking animatedly about her day. Then Rachel would come home and it was the kind of family gathering I wished I'd been able to have whenever I had been home.

I had a family. It didn't matter how small or how big it was. Only that it was mine and that it was real. And that I would let nobody take it away from me.

So that was it. There wasn't much of an ending to this story rather than a new beginning. There was no drama. Rachel and I slipped from our lonely little lives to one together and we were stronger than ever. While I hoped marriage was still on the table we had the luxury of time and we both knew it.

"No regrets?" I asked Rachel one night. She looked at me and snorted. "Plenty" she said finally. "But none about this" she gestured to us on the bed together simple and easy, no drama.

"Good" I said finally.

No regrets indeed.

I would for my imprint.

I would for my daughter.

I would for you.

And I knew Rachel felt it to.

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 **And I leave you with another big thank you for your time reading this story. **


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